During dinner yesterday, Martin expressed that he didn't know what I was working on because he didn't see anything. I keep a lot of my plans and projects bottled up until they've been perfected, so I mediated on the message. It became clear that I needed to organize things by putting it on paper.

 

Being outside of a structured institution demands discipline. With my visitors, I got wrapped up in the moment but now it's time to get the rest of my house in order. What do I want? What needs to get done? How and when will this get done? Just like writing in this log helps me to make since of the day, making a 'to do' list helps me with mundane tasks.

 

Nothing earth shattering about this entry now, but in the near future the fruits of my labor should come to bear. Thank you and Goodnight.  

 

In the middle of scolding Martin for not going all out on his last day, I got a phone call from my friend Kasey. Kasey took over as master control boss when I left and I thought she was calling to say hi and maybe ask a technical question, but I was super surprised and happy to find out that she was in Brooklyn!

 

"So what brings you to New York?" I ask

 

"My friend is shooting a documentary and I'm working on it," she says.

 

"Nice, so where are you in Brooklyn?"

 

"Um, I'm on Nostrand Ave. Maybe I'll just walk over to your place and say hello."

 

At this point I had to grab my map and find her. Brooklyn is huge and walking more than 15 blocks is possible but not practical. Especially if you happen to be 19 miles away from my house, way out in Sheepard's Bay.

 

So my co-pilot Martin and I rescue Kasey just in the knick of time cause some retarded (uh I mean slow) guy was trying to get with her. The story unfolded when she explained that the filmmaker was stuck 90 miles outside of Manhattan when his RV broke down (The documentary follows two women across the country as the bike ride from place to place in the name of equal marriage rights). As a result, Kasey couldn't check into her hotel until tomorrow. The person he was putting her up with was a lady she'd never met before that had a voice resonating like it was exposed to nicotine for 30 years. That's all I needed to hear. She was going to stay with us tonight.

 

We spent most of the time hanging out in Williamsburg and I've got the pictures to prove it! They'll be posted as soon as I upgrade my website space.     

 

The day started with a trip to the airport when Martin left this morning. I hope he enjoyed his stay and that things will work out for him in the near future. Having someone crash at your place for 3 weeks is quite the challenge. Truth be told, I was relieved that he left today, not because I didn't want him here but because being a host took a lot out of me. It feels like your schedule is linked to your visitor's in some form. With my newly discovered free schedule, Kasey and I took a trip to the Whitney Museum.

 

It was smaller than I thought and contained works from the 20th century. Among the current exhibits, my favorite was the photography of Ed Rushca. One series contained aerial photographs of empty parking lots around Los Angeles. Incredible stuff. I would should you some pics, but the security guards threatened to rough me up before I could open and close the shutter.

 

Again I felt inspired from the visit to the museum. I was reassured that focusing on art is important and necessary. The path isn't an easy one, but it is rewarding.

 

Karim drove up from Philly today and our ongoing discussion of art continued. We have new collaborative projects in the works including a documentary and joint art exhibits.

 

We ventured into Manhattan to meet up with Sung Joon, a Korean activist and artist. His group held a screening of a documentary about the gentrification of Manhattan's Chinatown. For me,being around creative people is a very refueling activity, energy wise.

 

Next Karim and I went to a bar/lounge close to my house called Royale that was fresher than fresh. The Dj spun music from all over the globe and was aided by a percussionist in the middle of the dance floor. It was the kind of steadying drum beat that wouldn't allow you to just bob your head, but forced you to move your feet. Not really a good idea with a broken toe, but it will heal someday right?  

 

I'm in a very difficult space today. Lately I've been feeling that I'm living in a fantasy world that can't sustain itself much longer. Part of me feels like I'm deceiving everyone and the true meaning of my actions is just for my entertainment.

 

When I left Cali, my world was so stagnate and dry that I decided to make a new one. A New York playground just for me and my ideas. And in this dream, you are supposed to care that I'm living it up. You are supposed to be impressed that I drove 3000 miles to begin a new. But why?

 

You see, I'm more needy than I like to portray. The value of my actions matter only if they resonate beyond my own experience. My writings over the past few weeks have been sub par and I apologize for that. They haven't been coming from a place that it started from and this is an attempt at getting back to that place. Back to where I'm bearing my soul all in the name of self-discovery- ok that was even too dramatic for my taste.

 

I'm saying that I don't want to be so wrapped up in my fantasy world that I fail to come down to earth and express my love and appreciation. God knows I need all the support I can get right now and I also want to feel that what I'm giving has meaning also.

 

Today was a rainy and dreary day; just the way I like it. In my interactions with others I feel like a fish out of water anyway so having an abundance of rain levels the playing field for me. I got up this morning to greet the rain, when I noticed a package sitting outside of my door.

 

I grab it, take inside the kitchen (appropriately) and pre-scan it. You know, shake it, smell it, use x-ray vision, the whole nine. It passed inspection. I open the box and to my utter surprise it's filled with GOLD packages.....of mustard. That's right mustard. Who the hell sends a box of mustard? I'll give you a hint....he's over in Yemen right now.

 

When Wahab was out here, I complained about not being able to find 'regular' mustard any where in New York when dining out. Dijon mustard is king here. Feeling my pain, he mailed this goldmine before leaving the country. What a guy! Seriously though, it's one of the best gifts I've gotten this month. So where do you go with a box full of mustard? To a diner of course!

 

Ok, I didn't go to a diner with a box full of mustard. It actually wasn't related but made a nice transition. I met up with my friend Emily at Joe Jr's diner (don't laugh) in Union Square. I shared some of my photography, she shared some of her writing and conversation was going great. When it was time to pay for the meal, I was told that they didn't except credit cards and I was totally embarrassed. Maybe I should have brought the mustard and bartered for the meal. At any rate, Emily picked up the tab, I picked up what was left of my ego and headed home.

 

So the moral of the story is never leave home without a box of mustard that comes in the mail during a rain storm. Or something like that.

 

I've heard rumors that New York has a summer, but today it felt like I was back in the bay. Gray outside and temps in the 60's, I almost left the house en route to the BART station but stopped short. Instead, I drove to Williamsburg for a concert featuring an electronica group called Helio Sequence.

 

I didn't use my credit card to buy the ticket so that will probably put some of you guys at ease. Actually Lauren hooked me up with a ticket. Actually Actually Shelly went also. Actually Actually Actually, David's son Tristan and two of Lauren's friends, Itzi & Dafna also attended the show. Actually, sike. Where was I? Oh yeah the concert was cool, but hanging out with everyone was the best part.

 

The opening band, 'The Big Sweep' ( I think), had a very nice synergy between the drummer, electric guitarist and bass player. The next act was a comedian-shoot I can't remember his name. I guess I had too many bottle waters or something. Come to think of it, the temperature inside the venue (NorthSix) was about 30 degrees hotter then it was outside. So I guess I found where summer was hiding. Helio Sequence hit the stage in these adverse conditions and performed a nice set. It's just two cats. The drummer doubles as the computer wiz and the other guy is the lead singer, plays the harmonica and electric guitar.

 

Somehow we made out without suffering a heat stroke, but I guess we did get a yoga experience of some sort. I'm fronting cause I've never been to a yoga class, but I'm told that I will be attending one soon. Sounds painful but I'm game.