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March 24th 2004
Today is my freedom day. I woke up this morning feeling like I had to be free.
Free from obligation, subjugation, frustration, interpretation, and miscommunication- in other words I quit my job.
It wasn't hard really, I just thought about how many hours I
was wasting in my life in exchange for a few dollars that lasted for about 2 weeks ---> next payday. I aint dissing or
judging folks who live that lifestyle, but its not working for me. I'd rather not have my life so planned and structured
like this.
I guess I just had to prove to myself that I could go that route if I have
to, but right now at the young age of 26, I can afford to be a bit more adventurous with my choices.
'God please guide my path as I venture into new territory. Illuminate my path
and soften the ground on which I tread. Give me the courage and strength necessary for being successful, resourceful and enlightened.
All praises to God, the universe and all of my ancestors before me.'
March 25th 2004
One Week
I feel sorrow because of the wonderful people I'm leaving in Cali and excitement because of the people
I'll be united with in New York. Its kinda like the feeling I got beating someone I loved in monopoly. Whenever I won, even
if my opponent was talking mad sh** , I always felt sad about having to leave my friend in the dust in order to win the game.
Thus, I feel really sad about leaving my loved ones now to accomplish some of my personal goals, but I understand its the
path I must take.
I guess this website is all about attempting to bridge people from my past, present and future without
virtually leaving or losing anyone. I can't help it. It's the dreamy, idealistic Pisces within me.
So its officially one week away until I leave and I've never felt so sad and excited at the same time. Surely good
things will come of this right?
March 27th 2004
Internal Struggle With Fear
First off all I want to send my gratitude to everyone who has taken time to
check this site and send me words of support, advice and most importantly love. It's helping me sooo much!!! Especially
on days like this when I'm battling the internal voices of doubt and fear.
Today, I planned to spend all day packing and its been hard to get started
because of these fearful thoughts in my head. I can't lie; part of me is scared to death about the negative possibilities,
like not finding a place before I run out of money.
The thing I'm afraid of the most is letting myself down and that's the
fuel that I use to build up the strength and courage to take such a leap of faith. It aint easy and I don't want to portray a
false image that it is, but with perseverance, faith, love and a little bit of luck, all things are possible.
March 28th 2004
The Lost Boys
I worked on a film last year called the "The Lost Boys of Sudan" http://www.lostboysfilm.com. They left their native country during the civil war and WALKED to Ethopia & Kenya as
children to escape this. That to me is courageous and brave.
I'm friends with a group of Sudanese guys living in San Jose and I hung out with them tonight. They teach me about
what is to be an African. My hunger for going to Africa has grown exponentially because of this and I'm
grateful for that.
I wish them much peace and comfort here in America, and I also wish them success in rebuilding their country.
April 2/ April 3 2004
Get somewhere!
My Goal today was to get somewhere anywhere! Earlier in the day, I spent
over $600 on the G-Ride. Brakes, tires and alignment all hooked up. Without getting into a long drawn out explanation on how
the rest of the day went, let's just say it was 6:00pm and I still hadn't left yet. The Question, should I leave tonight
or wait until the next day?
The more I sat and thought about it, psycologically I just needed to get
on the road. Waiting there, made me think negative thoughts so I bounced at 6:19 pm. My travels lead me to a small town an
hour outside of Reno called Lovelock.
Many pictures are coming, wasn't able to write or upload anything in
Lovelock because there are NO LOCAL AOL access numbers!!!! I miss civilization.
Will write more when I reach Cheyenne tonight. Where am I? Salt Lake
City. I've never thought I'd say this but I was so glad to get here and find a Kinko's!
And the beat goes on........
April 4 2004
Wealth and Poverty
Driving on the road forces you to think & think & think some more. I didn't spend too much time interacting with
people today because I had to make up some time. I did find myself empathetic to the people around me in
these little small towns.
The definition of rich and poor can not be applied across
the board; rather it's a matter of perspective. I felt that I was virtually poor living from check to check in the Bay,
but out in the "the middle of nowhere" I feel like my lifestyle applied here would be considered lavish.
Most Americans live outside of the New York's, Chicago's and LA's. The economic disparity in small town America is right on par with the poorest neighborhoods in any urban area. One of the major
differences is the quality of life. In these small towns, home ownership is higher, classroom size is smaller, pollution is lower etc etc. So does that mean they
have a better life? It's All relative. I do know this, racial, sexual, & political differences pale in comparison to the
common economic hardships that most of us face. On this basis, Oakland California doesn't seem so far away from
Vermillion, South Dakota to me.
Speaking of South Dakota, I made it to my brother Frat House! A full report coming soon.....
April 5 2004
Life inside the
TKE Frat House
Right off the bat I have
to say that I don't have any "girls gone wild inside the Frat House" pictures. Also, you wont be seeing any shots of drunken
Frat boys laid out on the floor. My preconceived notions of this Frat house were all wrong.
The TKE Frat house is alcohol
free or dry. I didn't know that such places existed. Apparently they are the only fraternity on campus that imposes this
rule. I'm quite sure that they find ways around this, but I didn't see any.
I also thought that his
Frat brothers would be a bunch of ogres who were overly aggressive and intellectually shallow. Damn, that was
pretty harsh I know, but from my college experience, that's the type of guys who joined these groups. To my surprise,
these cats are well rounded, open and active guys.
When my brother first told me
that he joined a fraternity in South
Dakota, I kinda laughed and thought he was crazy for being a Black man joining a majority
White frat. I realize now that I was crazy for jumping to this kind of judgment. Not once have I felt uncomfortable
in the house. The guys are great and I see them all as my little brothers. They've convinced me to stay another
day and I'm gonna go out with them to a club tomorrow. I'll let you know how "lil john" moves the crowd in Sioux Falls.
April 8 2004
I made it!!!
3000 miles later, I've finally made it to New York! Well, I'm actually staying in hotel in Jersey, but that's close
enough for now. Especially after getting LOST for 2 1/2 hours! Peep this....
I crossed the GW Bridge into New York about 900pm. The city was calling me so I drove thru the bronx, harlem and cut
crosstown and went through the Lincoln tunnel to the Jersey turnpike. Not bad for a newbie huh? That's not were I got lost.
Being a "genius" I figured all I needed to know was the exit number to get off on I could find it from there. So I get
off the turnpike @ 13A ( Jersey Gardens) and I ask the toll agent how to get to the extended stay hotel. He says "take 1-9
south. And I did......for 2 HOURS. Driving back and forth, North and South.. Send my name in for the dumba** of the year awards
please. I worked hard for that title tonight.
I called my guardian angel Terra, and she was able to lookup the location on- line and help me navigate. Why didn't I
just call the hotel on my cell phone? Cause I don't have one! I hate em! But, God I wish I had one tonight.
I arrive at the hotel @ 1200am, the hostess tells me that they only book rooms from 700am-1100pm. Soooo
here I am at the Econo Lodge for tonight and Damn Happy to be somewhere!
I'd be exhausted if not for the excitement of being here! I'll layout my plan strategy for finding a place
tomorrow and anyone in the New York area knows of a space in williamsburg or park slope area, scream at me and let
me know.
I hope you enjoyed the first part of this journey and hope you like the next part even more. By the way the winning answer
on the "How long will it take me to get here" was 5-6 days.
Chao
April 11 2004
Williamsburg
I started out today with the same funk feeling that I felt yesterday, but I think I've discovered the problem. It's really
really hard for me to be dependant on people because I take pride in doing things on my own. The time frame that I have for
finding a place and learning the area is not conducive for my normal approach. So today I had to humble myself, squash the
ego and reach out for some help.
I drove to Williamsburg Brooklyn and showed up at my friends Nerissa & Earl's crib. Not only did they give me words of advice and encouragement
but they also took me on a stroll down Bedford ave where a lot of apartments are posted on street polls and inside coffee
shops. I felt a lot better having a handful of spots to call & follow up on. I really really appreciate them for
taking the time out to help this poor lost soul from the bay area, whose trying to make it in New York =)
So with my new found energy, I just drove around Brooklyn for a couple hours getting familiar with the different
areas like Fort Greene, Park Slope, Bed Stuy and Clinton Hill. It was very beneficial going to the areas adding a visual representation of neighborhoods that I've read
or heard about.
I'm learning to go with flow and talk to others who may have the piece of the puzzle that I'm looking
for i.e. a lead on an apartment. Well, I'm feeling a lot better and my new goal is to have a place by Friday.
April 12 2004
Religion, Amy & Yours Truly
Quick Update on the apartment search: I had an appointment today to look at an apartment with roommates. Yeah, I
know I said I want my own place and still do, but I thought at least seeing somewhere would help. Anywayz, remember all
that "getting familiar" with the area driving I did yesterday? Guess what? It didn't help cause I got lost again! It was hilarious
because I actually "knew" where I was going and still got lost! So much for the appointment. I'm in good spirits
though so I just laughed it off. I didn't get lost on my way to JFK to pick up my friend Amy.
A chance encounter with someone from my past who I've lost touch with, usually ends with me saying
"well nice seeing you again and take care". Especially when it involves most folks from my religious past. Yes,
I was once a fundamentalist Christian out to save your poor lost bastards! In fact here's a funny story, I used
to try to "exorcise the demons" out of some of my family members by going up to them, making a cross with my pointer
fingers and pressing them against their foreheads saying "I command you Satan to come out of him/her". Funny huh? I'm
sitting here grinning ear to ear. I know I'm jumping around a bit, but stay with me.
Well, anyway, I had a meeting 2 days before leaving with my friend/advisor/potential agent Gary and Amy's
sister Rebecca walks in. I haven't seen her in like 9 years! I told her where I was headed and I just kinda said hi,
bye and left it at that. Rebecca informs Amy that she saw me. Amy tells me she's flying into the area around
the same time. On top of that, she staying with her brother's friend Jeff ,who's apartment in Williamsburg is available
next month because he's moving to the bay area.....funny how life work's.
So to tie it all together, Amy and I both went to the same church growing up. We had so much catching up to do that I
must have asked her about 100 questions. Sorry Amy about the drilling. I learn more about myself by asking
others about their lives. We've both left most of our religious past behind, but I feel the essence of helping others
and spreading love is a message that the church did have a positive influence in our lives. If you want to hear what
Amy has to say please call 510....just kidding girl
Amy introduced me to Jeff and he gave me a couple more tips on finding a place. By the way, if anyone in the bay knows
of any studio's or 1 bedroom($600-$850) spots for rent in the Berkeley/Lake Merritt Area Email Jeff or send it to me and I'll pass it on.
Alright that's enough writing for tonight.
April 14 2004
Carnegie Hall
My day began with a series of phone calls that would give me a taste of how quickly things change out here. The first
call I received was from my filmmaker friend Megan who hooked me up with tickets to see Banda AfroReggae at Carnegie
Hall. The show was just incredible! These guys fuse some many genres from Reggae, to Drum & Bass, to salsa,
you name it I heard it. And the show itself had all the theatrics of any good Broadway show. Broadway as in
New York not San Francisco. I met the guys after the show and they're super super cool. Oh I forgot to mention that I also
met the legendary Fab 5 Freddy! Not bad for a night on the town in New York huh?
So the next call I received was in relation to a studio I inquired about in Clinton Hill. I went by and checked it out.
The landlord was so kind and understanding about my situation. One of the major challenges I have to deal with is not having
a job right now. I told her I was willing to pay rent in advance for april may & june, plus the deposit, just to give
myself enough time to get settled, and find some source of income. Bottom line, she said the place is mine and I am meeting
with her on Friday to sign the lease.
Incredible! That's all I can say.
April 20 2004
High Times
On the apartment that I loved so much yesterday, I turned it down. I called Gary who is a native New Yorker and told
him where it was located & he advised me not to sign the lease. In his words, "It's better to have an ok place in a good
neighborhood then to have a great place in a bad neighborhood". I agree 1000%. It was so nice though! I was feeling a bit
discouraged, so what better way to cheer up then to go to a High Times party!
So how in the world did I get invited to this party? Well, a couple days into the roadtrip, my friend & co-worker
Angela from Link Tv, sent out an email introducing me to some friends that she knows in the New York Area. From this group, Lauren
reached out to me and shared her experience of leaving the bay area and relocating to the big apple. I can't tell you
how much I appreciated this because some days driving in the middle of nowhere, I started to question my sanity.
Lauren told me that she writes for High Times and invited me to the issue release party, which took place
tonight. We met face to face for the first time and it was wonderful! I was introduced to Dave, Shelly & Jerry among others
and they all reassured me that what I was going through is a rite of passage for everyone who comes to New York. What
a relief!
Before leaving, I was staring out the window overlooking Manhattan thinking, "I can not believe that I am in New York!"
Unreal!
My energy reserves are full again & I'm sure there will be many other good people I will cross paths with!
April 21 2004
My New Home
I've waited so long to say this.....I have a place to live!!! There is such an enormous weight lifted off of my shoulders,
that I feel 100 lbs lighter. Now the details.
Lauren called me yesterday and told me about a rental solution that might work. She and Dave have a two-bedroom apartment
in Park Slope Brooklyn, one of the target areas I've been searching in. They want to move more into central Park Slope, but
their lease expires in October. The suggestion is for me to sublet the apartment with Shelly( who lives in the same building,
but wants a better space). The monthly rent is $2000 split down the middle. You want to hear about the amenities right?
Check this, it has 2 bedrooms, 2 bath rooms, washer & dryer, dishwasher(very important), nice sized kitchen, private
backyard, tons of storage space, a converted darkroom, a spiral staircase that leads to the downstairs area, dsl ready &
its in a very safe area. It's absolutely perfect!
The only concession that I had to make to my original plan was to have a roommate, but with a place like this & with
how cool Shelly is (who happens to be a native Californian), this is an easy decision.
Thank you everyone for helping me stay positive during this phase! I can't wait until you guys come here & check
out the space! Well, one more night in the extended stay studio & I'll be a Brooklyn resident! Goodbye New Jersey, Hello
New York.
April 24 2004
The "Met"
Today I left the Jeep in front of the house & ventured into the underworld otherwise known as the subway system. It's
a 10 min walk to the nearest F Train stop
on 7th ave/9th st. With my trusty subway map in hand, I descended into the depths below Park Slope only to emerge 30 minutes
later on the Upper East Side of Manhattan; Destination Metropolitan Museum.
I exited the train @ 63rd/Lex and proceeded west toward Central Park. The weather was magnificent! Warm enough to wear
shorts if you so desired and cool enough to sport a light jacket (nothing new to this Bay Area Native). Walking parallel to
the Park for about 20 Blocks, I became increasing tempted by the street vendors, selling hot dogs, pretzels & ice cream.
I kept saying, "just wait until you get to the met". Reaching the Met at 82nd Street, I gave in to this temptation and
tried my first New York Hot Dog! Can't beat it for $1.50.
Inside the Met, the admission is a "suggested" $12 donation. You can pay what you can afford or more if you like. On
this day, I paid the 12 bucks, but next time, who knows?
The first exhibit I wanted to see was the photography section. I spent hours just reading the history of the early photographers
& their techniques. As I studied the photographs, I was reminded of why I have such a love for this form of expression.
Photographs freeze time & space in a way that no other medium can. The past joins the present and the present becomes
frozen in a time capsule. Looking at the first photograph taken of President Lincoln taught more about him than any history
book could. I hope to develop a style of photography that captures the many elements of this era, allowing future generations
to look back on my work & see how we lived.
I can't wait to go back!
April 25 2004
Faith & Practicality
Today I'm gonna address the role that faith has played in my journey thus far. There is a fundamental difference in having
faith and having unrealistic expectations. Sometimes though, the area in between isn't so clear.
Faith is believing without seeing. I like to think that I'm displaying practical faith. A year ago, I started
out with just a feeling for change. I spent months just yearning & projecting (some consider this dreaming) on where
I'd like to be & what I'd like to be doing. At the end of last year, I was determined to get
to New York when my lease expired in March. Ok, so now I have a firm launching date and I can start to address the "how" question.
How in the world financially can I make this work? One option was the "all in one" solution. Get a job & a place
before moving out there. The other was to save enough money to allow the process to occur organically. I chose the later for
the adventure and because I wanted a brake from working so much.
I took my tax refund($1500) and opened a savings account. I got a $4000 loan, half of which went
to covering old debt and $2000 went into the savings account. Finnally,I added my last paychecks and had
about $6000 in working cash flow. Makes it a bit easier to have faith if you have a little wiggle room to start with.
What about faith? For me, I relied heavily on internal faith when resigning from my job & putting
in my 30 days notice with my landlord. Once the trip began, it shifted to relying on the external faith that others
had in me. My faith was tested because on the road, I started to understand why I
decided to leave the bay.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that; faith isn't a mindless unplanned action for me. I choose to limit what areas
are planned & rely on faith to reveal the answers to the rest.
April 28 2004
Philly Photos
Philly Part I
One of my good friends, Karim, just moved to Philadelphia a few days ago so I jumped in the Jeep and drove to the city
of brotherly love.The drive took about 1 hour & 30 minutes, but when you factor in the holland tunnel traffic & the
whole" getting lost thing" that I have mastered, it took a total of 3 hours.
I met up with Karim on South Street, which is one of the main drags in the city. Roughly 2 years ago, strangely enough,
was the last time I saw him and it was in this same city. We are two of the founding members of a company formed in 2001 called
Pinnacle Production Group, that put together one of the best touring Emcee Battles ever! I'm a humble guy, but it's true,
the shows were amazing. One of the last battles we held was in Philly, which saw a local talent Reef take home the crown. In many ways, we are both looking for that feeling of accomplishment, as we regroup in our new places
of residence.
Karim's current situation began to unfold as we had a snack at Cosi's. I ordered one of my top ten meals of all
time, a grilled cheese sandwich. I got a taste of some of the bad luck he's been having after he ordered
2 different items on the menu, only to have the waitress come back minutes later to say "I'm sorry we're all out". After
settling for some sort of tea instead, he filled me in on the latest happenings with his new roommate. Or shall
I say roommates?
There's a website called roommates.com, which as the title suggests, allows you to find a roommate in whatever city
you live in. His current roomate advertised that he would have his own "private bedroom" in his apartment. He failed to mention
that its only a one bedroom apartment which means that, lets call him Roommate X, is giving up the bedroom to Karim and moving
to the living room space. Did I fail to mention that Roommate X's girlfriend practically lives there also? So for Karim to
get to his room, he has to pass through a "love nest" just to get in and out of the crib! I had to laugh at his story about
the guy leaving a note on the front door tonight saying "Karim Please Knock Before You Enter". Is that crazy or what? This
guy is like 50 years old and it sounds like something an 18-year-old college student might do! Hearing all of this makes me
even more thankful for my current living arrangement.
Well, needless to say, Karim is scrambling to look for a new place & a job at the same time. I have full faith and
confidence that everything will work out for him. He's one of the most driven and talented people that I know. If you
haven't already checked out some of his woodcarvings and sculpture's you can do so at siriusartist.com. Periodically we'll check back with him to see his progress and I'll let you know when his blog is up.
Back to the BK!
May 4 2004
Beyond Geographical Changes
I understand that this website is based on my geographical relocation from Cali to NY, but the subtext is about
me moving closer to the person I want to be. At this point in the marathon called life, I'm satisfied that I've discovered
the essence of who I am. Now, I want to fill in the rest of the details.
Many times, I have been vague or elusive when expressing myself in relationships. I rarely fully
express what I want in a relationship for fear of hurting someone or getting hurt. It's hard to explain how deeply I
can empathize with others, but its like I can feel the pain of anyone within arms length of me. This has been a huge
gift and curse at the same time, but I'm determined to not let this make me seem like a flaky person. I picked the
right place in terms of learning to express oneself with the honesty of a 5 year old. No offense to any New Yorkers,
but I admire that and I'm learning to apply these principles to my life.
I'm a work in progress & hopefully I'll continue to be until I journey to the next planet or universe or heaven or
wherever. As long as it has cereal there, I'm good.
May 6 2004
DJ Spooky vs. 3D Jerry
This morning I got up early so you know it must have been a special occasion. Spending a good portion of my day with
2 brillant artists satisfys that criteria.
I just realized that I failed to mention that David & Lauren are back, welcome
home! Lauren, as I'm sure you know by now, writes for high times magazine and today I tagged along with her to interview DJ Spooky. We get to his loft in Tribeca and the vibe is a bit awkward because we were invited in and he went back to sitting at his
computer. I was unsure if he was blowing us off or just waiting until we were setup. Lauren handled the situation perfectly
and over the course of the interview, he loosened up and had some great things to say about video games and the impact theyre
having on society. I'm not going to get into the details because the article has not been written yet, but when it is, I'll
spread the word. Hearing what he had to say made me a bigger fan of his music.
Next we met up Jerry Marks for lunch. Speaking of lunch, I've been searching for a
good burrito since I left Cali, so it was nice to find a good spot. Ok, Jerry's speciality is 3D Imagery. Now's a good time
to check out his site www.pulltime3d.com to get a better idea of what he's done because his work is extensive.
At
Jerrys place, I was shown many 3D photos, some from as far back as the 1800s! And yes, I did get a pair of 3D glasses. Here's
the situation, I have a great desire to learn everything about photography and Jerry needs an assistant to help with his current
project, the history of dance photography. Long story short, we start Monday. I'm not getting paid, but so what. You cannot
put a price on an experience like this.
May 11 2004
A Costly Mistake
My day was almost over before it began today. I got up around 8:30am, shut my room door and walked into the bathroom.
I started the shower and headed back to the room to get my towel etc. To my surprise as I turned the knob, it was
locked. Half conscious I made a stupid mistake of locking the door before closing it.
Thoughts:
'Don't panic you have an hour and a half to figure this out before meeting up with Jerry. Ok, your keys are inside
the room, so call Shelly to see if she has a key to the room.'
Numbers dialing, no answer. Left message. In the meantime, looks around for a spare key. Time passes...
Thoughts:
'I hate to do this, but I'm gonna have to call Lauren & David even though it's 545 cali time'. Voicemail.
'Look at the door to see if you can take it apart'
Phone Rings. Lauren says "There's no key for that door. Try credit card if that doesn't work, call
a locksmith."
Thoughts:
'This is going to take longer then expected. Call Jerry, alert him to the situation. Done. Now, how to get this
open? My wallet is in the room with a couple of cards I'd love to destroy, but can't get in.
Looks around for flexible objects finds none. Sits on the couch and thinks. Drifts off...
Awakened by the sound of a door opening. Shelly enters.
"Do you have an old credit card or something that I can use to open my room?"
"Let me check......Here's on old safeway card try that."
"If this doesn't work I'm gonna go ahead and call a locksmith, but I need to borrow some money to pay him because my
wallet is inside"
"No problem, I'll bring up the phone book just in case. I'm going to sleep, call me if you need me"
Hours later and many lost layers of epidermal skin on the hands, still no luck.
Thoughts:
'Time to pay up there's no other way around it. Call and get an estimate'
"Yes, hi How much will it cost me to get a locksmith to open an interior door?"
"Uh sir we don't give estimates over the phone, I can send a guy out there to check it out for free and then
we'll go from there."
Thoughts:
'Sounds shady, what other options do I have?'
an hour passes. Phone rings.
"Hi its the locksmith."
Yum yum checks him out to see if he's shady. He passes the test.
"So how much?"
"65 for service & 75 for new lock"
"Yo, can you open this without breaking the lock?"
Locksmith tries the same technique I used, but with a thicker piece of plastic. No Luck.
"Well, uh thanks for coming and checkin it out, but I want to try get this done without paying that
much and breaking the doorknob."
"Ok, than its just $65"
"For what?"
"Just for coming out here"
"No that's not what they told me on the phone. I'll call them right now"
Company denies telling me the estimate was free. I get upset. Conversation gets heated with the outside company.
Guy tells me to hangup and offers me a "deal". Explains that I can pay him directly and not the other company and he'll
do the whole thing for $100.
"I can't afford that. I don't want a new doorknob"
We chat some more.
"Let me call my downstairs neighbor to get some assistance."
Phone rings. Voicemail.
Thoughts
'I should have stayed in bed today.'
"Okay man, open the door, I'll give you $75 but I don't want the doorknob destroyed. I'll put a new one in myself."
Get's his drill and another tool. 20 seconds later the door is open.
Thoughts
'I'm in the wrong profession. Shoot no cash on hand.'
"Hey, I have to go to the ATM to get your money ok?"
"No problem"
Ordeal over. Five minutes later, Jerry calls.
"So maybe we should think about starting again tomorrow"
"If you're up to it, I'd like to get some work done today, it would take my mind off of how bad the day is going."
"Ok, sound good"
"I'll see you in an hour"
The rest of the day went a lot smoother, thank God. Tonight I'm sleeping with the room door open.
May 15 2004
Hip hop in Boston
Shawn and I went out tonight to this night club called Matrix. There was no cool action stunts but there were plenty
of green lights. We were also totally appalled by their wet T-shirt contest! Not really, but it was kinda cheesy.
Supposedly this place was a good spot to hear 'hip hop', so we went and checked it out. Before going out, I
came across and interesting thread about how hip hop in Boston is under attack.
The discussion is based on strict dress codes and how its racially motivated. Club goers, promoters, venue owners and
dj's all chime in on the subject.
I personally think that these policies attack individual expression, which is fascist in nature. Hip-hop as
a culture was never about catering to the needs of people who can afford to buy $700 outfits and pay $20 bucks to get
in. It was based on kids making something beautiful with the resources they had. DOnt even get me started preaching =)
Maybe we just went to the wrong spot, who knows? The highlight of my night was seeing Shawn get freaky on
the dancefloor with a bunch of some bridesmaids! Go head pimp daddy.
May 16 2004
The Growth of a Young Nation
Well, after spending a few days in the Boston area, I was leaving with a good feeling that this was an interesting city
and I would like to come back and visit. There's so much history that I read about pertaining to the birth of this nation
and also that plight of Africans to regain their freedom in a foreign land. It never crossed my mind that during this
trip, I would be witnessing another historic event taking place in Massachusetts.
I was headed toward the Mass turnpike, but ended up going the wrong way( that seems to be my trademark lately). I encountered
a large gathering of people and news media thinking that it must be some minor local issue that people are protesting about.
As I drove closer, I could see that one side of the street was about 12 people holding signs saying things like "Thank
God for Sept 11" and "Fags go home". Then it hit me that the state was set to become first to fully allow gay marriage.
New York would have to wait, I parked grabbed my cameras and started shooting.
The scene was really surreal. On the city hall side of the street, gay couples lined up to be granted the right to marry.
Across the street stood the family of 12 who came all the way from Kansas to "represent". I can't believe that we are
still trying to tell people in foreign lands how to live their lives, but we still oppress our own citizens. I'm
not a democrat or republican, that's irrelevent. I am a humanitarian and that is the closest term I can use to describe how I
classify my believe structure in relation to social interactions. In my view, the world needs more love and love is never
a bad thing.
We're still a young nation and it's a step in the right direction to living up to what this place is supposed to
be on paper. That will probably happen before the Red Sox win a World Series though.
May 18 2004
Role Play
Many of you probably aren't aware
that being alone (not with a friend) in crowded areas is mentally difficult for me. Being packed in subways standing
up or sometimes just walking on the streets is a challenge for me. There are many variables that contribute to these
feelings of anxiety.
I was sharing a
story with Lauren today about the time my family moved from California to Milwaukee in the fourth grade for 1 1/2
years. We were bused to a school on the outskirts of town, all in the name of integration. I've never witnessed such
cruel behavior before or since. Kids with any sort of defect were teased or physically attacked daily. The best way to make
it through the day was to not do, wear or say anything to stand out. I was rarely picked on, but I know that this is a major
cause of my uneasiness in crowded situations.
So how to combat this? When riding the
trains, I immerse myself in a book or newspaper to take my mind away from the situation. On the street, I rely on a viewpoint
that we are all just actors playing our roles in this fictional world we call society. Everything that humanity has created
came from our minds, meaning that it had to be imagined or fantasized. For me, that deflates the seriousness of the moment
that I often feel and minimizes the fears that I harbor.
In my reality, humanity knows that we
are all the same species. We also know that life experiences are worth more than silver or gold. This is basic to
me and until we revert to this way of thinking, I will perceive our way or life as make believe. Anyone
find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow yet? I could use some right now.
May 20 2004
My First Visitor
As of 6:00am this morning, I got my very first visitor!! Terra arrived early this morning and I don't know how I woke
up in time to pick her up, but I did. So this is the beginning of a new webpage on this site called " Who's in town" which allows folks who make the trek to New York to write about their experience. Raw, uncut & uncensored.
Unfortunately I haven't posted it yet because of my ongoing phone issues which are supposed to be resolved today.
Being a tour guide gives me a chance to see how much I've learned about the area in the few weeks I've been here. Terra
is staying with her friend Jeff up in Westchester County and they wanted a mini late night tour of Brooklyn. As you probably
know, I'm only familar with Park Slope and Williamsburg so that's where we went.
We met up in Williamsburg with Jeff's friend Jeremy who used to play in a band with him. He led us to a bar (can't remember
the name) that spun a lot of 80's music. They broke out the Michael Jackson and you know I had to get out there right?
Someone came up to me and asked to take my picture for a magazine as a potential model. I looked around for the hidden
camera and waited for them to say, 'you're on bloopers and practical jokes', but I guess it was legit. Although, I think its
highly unlikely that something will come of this, any income right now would be nice.
I hope Terra had a good time, but I'll let her express that on the "Who's in town" page, if I ever get my phone on that
is...
May 23 2004
La Mama
Tonight, Terra and I attended a series of Greek plays at La Mama Theatre. Jerry had 3D image projected during the Seven Aganist Thebes, so he was kind enough to hook us up with tickets.
I really enjoyed the performances! They were performed in the original Greek language so sometimes I would try to figure
out what was going on without using the playbill. It's great getting a preview of how it will be when I live in other countries
not knowing the language at first, but picking up on things as time goes along.
The music was outstanding! I think there were 3 or 4 people playing everything from Violins to ancient instruments to
drums, very impressive. The fight choreography was so good that I was afraid for the actors! You have people climbing 15-20
feet grabbing and clawing at each other with no safety net. Amazing!
It was truly a Jewel of a night seeing the legendary Ellen Stewart's interpretation of these plays. I've just been
introduced to her work through Jerry, but from what I can see, she's 80 years young and still going strong! We should
all be so lucky.
May 27 2004
I did so much stuff today that I had to write it down just to remember everything. In the early part of the day, I worked
with Jerry on restoration of 3D images taken over 100 years ago! The Natural Museum of History sent out expeditions in the
early part of the 1900's and this particular batch is from the Congo.Great stuff.
My first stop was to attend a function held for filmmaker Les Blank. I'd been exposed to his film's during my time working at the station in San Francisco. In his own words, he 'makes films
on people that interest him and that feel very passionate about what they create.' Jerry and I got to catch a bit of 'Lightnin
Hopkins' before making our way to the American Museum of Natural History.
David & Lauren caught up with us there to attend a NY Stereoscopic Society meeting. I was definitely interested in
seeing more images, but more so in seeing what your average 3D enthusiasts would be like. It was a very diverse and friendly
atmosphere. This particular evening, there was a slide presentation of Ellis Island. It moved me quite a bit and I came away
with another perspective on my journey.
Next, David & Lauren head home and Jerry takes me to Gray's Papaya! Best hot dogs in the world. Peep this; I got 2
hot dogs and a drink for $2.45! Amazing. FYI it's called the recession special.
Jerry headed home and I was off to check a Dead Prez show @ S.O.B's. As if my brain wasn't swelling enough from the information and experience of the day, I had to attend a function
that is geared toward revolution and social change. Before D.P. went on, there were about 10 other groups, I lost count after
awhile. The focus of this tour seems to be to bring together the different factions of hip hop; thugs, partiers, the chain
wearers and the conscious folk. This was reflected in the make up of the performers, but not the crowd. I gotta say, most
of the groups were wack, but the best performance by far, was from Immortal Technique. If you don't know about him yet, wakeup. Honorable mention goes to A.A likes, very good performance. I bought their CD,
but haven't listened yet.
Alright, so Dead Prez. As I understand it right now, they don't have a record contract any more and their following
is so huge they'd be better off not having one. The show was mainly material from the RGB album, but also featured joints
from the mixtapes and get free or die tryin album. They also had a multimedia presentation synced up to whatever song was
playing. It was heavy. Images definitely geared toward getting people to act. Not march, or protest or vote, but take matters
into your own hands. I'll leave it at that.
Finally, I got home exhausted and determined to get rest. Well, that is until tomorrow.
May 30 2004
Fung Wah Bus
I was told about a bus that transports passengers from Chinatown Manhattan to Chinatown Boston called the Fung Wah bus. The unbelievable part of this is that the price is just $10 each way!! I had to experience this and visiting
my friend Janel in Boston provided a perfect opportunity. I met Janel at America's first ever state sanction gay marriage
ceremonies and she was kind enough to let me crash at her place. That is if I make it on this bus.
The buses leave once an hour from 7:00am-midight everyday. I aimed for making the 2:00pm bus which considering that I
wake up around noon everyday is well within my range. I get there just as the bus is arriving and I hand them a credit card
@ the ticket both and of course they only accept cash. The first atm I run to is broken, great. I quickly ran around the block
and found another one, but someone was using it and being very slow about it. I waited, got the cash ran back to the booth,
grabbed the ticket and raced onto the bus. Just happy to have made it, I was indiscriminate about where I sat; big mistake.
The people in front of me, a French couple, were about 4 feet tall and took up twice that amount in seat space.
How? Well, they leaned there seats back as far as the could go, had their feet on other seats blocking the aisle. I
had to sit sidewayz the entire journey, with my legs spilling into the aisle. When I finally arrived, I felt like never
sitting down again. All things considered, it was only 10 bucks and the total time was about 4 hours. I just hope the return
trip goes smoother.
May 31 2004
Fung Wah 2 & Shrek 2
I got up this morning prepared this time for the Fung Wah experience & was ready to choose the right seat at all
costs. Projected time of departure: 12:00pm. You should know by now, in my world things don't seem to happen that easily.
The 12 o'clock bus was sold out when I got there and the earliest bus available was at 3. I noticed a competing bus line
down the street and inquired about a faster departure time, but they only had 4pm buses. Having at least 3 hours to kill,
I went to check out the 1220 showing of Shrek 2.
I guess the movie was good. I was awake for the first half hour. One minute the guy is green, the next minute he's not.
Judging by the laughter from the audience and the applause at the end of the film, I give it 2 thumbs up.
Back to the task at hand; get on the bus! The film let out around 220pm and I make it back to the ticket both and got
a 4pm seat. There must have been a backlog of buses because four buses pulled up in the span of an hour and I was on the road
by 330pm. So far, so good.
I got a window seat with plenty of room and the lady sitting next to me was quiet. I close my eyes and drift
off into dreamland. Somehow when I woke up, the lady next to me turned into a guy who was on his cell phone talking about
his sex life for the next 4 hours.
Keeping with the theme from the bus ride, I met up with David, Lauren, Shelly & Laurel to check out a Burlesque
show. The hostess tried to recruit Lauren to be apart of the show, but to no avail. Somehow we all made it home
and I was asked the question 'Would I take the bus again?' Well....I dont know, depends on how much pain I want to endure.
June 7 2004
Panic Button
It's almost time to push the proverbial panic button. My bank account is almost at ground zero and I have no prospects
for a job. Panic is setting in.
I'm at a loss about what to do. Going out and rubbing elbows with people, cost money also and that seems to be a
way to find a job. I can't do that right now. The remainder of my money is, sad to say, going to be used just to eat. Last
week, I averaged one good meal a day and I'm amazed at how much energy I was able to extract from this. Even more impressive
was that my spirits were not down at all. I can't say that is the case right now.
I'm sending out more resumes as we speak and hopefully the tide will turn, but my hand is without a doubt hovering over
the panic button.
June 8 2004
One-Minute Manicure
Ok, let's see here.....uh how do I put this in the proper context....probably not a way do it in one sentence.....yesterday
I got a manicure.
Just hear me out ok? Cool. I was sitting here typing away and not having any luck with the job search thing. I must
have been giving off a stressed out vibe when Shelly says, 'Joe come here I want you to try something.' Suddenly I
had a flash back to my days growing up with two sisters who often used me for experiments.
I enter the bathroom and she tells me to scoop some cream from a container and rub it on my hands because it will relieve
some of my stress. It felt very sandy and coarse. I thought that it was doing more damage to my hands then helping then. After
rinsing with water, it felt like my hands were made of glass!Amazing! Brilliant! At this point I was informed that
I hand just had a One-Minute Manicure.
I wouldn't have tried it if I were told in advance, but afterwards I'm glad that I did. My hands are feeling
good and looking good. Now if this somehow can be transmitted from my keyboard and make my resume have the same kind of shine,
I think this hand cream company may have a new spokesman.
June 12 2004
B-Boy BBQ
It is very difficult to express in words the feeling and overwhelming energy Joe and I felt before, during, and after
the 2004 B-Boy Barbeque in Philly. This event will remain bookmarked in my memory as another day that Hip Hop has proven its immortality
and ingenuity. The event was a signpost pointing in the direction of the future. It was a cultural equalizer of all groups
of people-African Americans, Caucasians, Latinas, East Indians, West Indians, Eastern Europeans, Middle Eastern,
Gays/Lesbians, Children, 9 to 5ers, Entrepenuers, Artists, Patrons, where the common denominator was a deep passion for the
preservation and continuation of the true elements of Hip Hop culture.
The event was created and supported by people who understand the meaning of pain, hunger, no fear, uncompromising creativity,
and irrepressible joy. Despite the uniformity in the consciousness of the attendees,there was still enough raw expression
and individuality to give a photographer an artistic orgasm. When we arrived at the event, even before we walked in the park,
we were submerged in grafitti art along the walls, stop signs, an abandoned van, and any available space. As we proceeded
into the park, the first thing I noticed was the amount of kids playing, breaking, and participating in the cultural elements.
Which is very important for the continuation of the culture. Some of the highlights were a performance by 84, Reef the Lost Cauze and Chief Kamachi, live grafitti exhibition by Shiro (dope graf artist from Japan), a freestyle session that included but was not limited to J-Live and Spade, DJ STATIK on the wheels, several b-girls breaking, and the continuous positive energy given and reciprocated by everyone. I recommend that if you are reading this
recap, make EVERY effort to come to PHILLY next year to make Hip Hop newly emerged pilgrimage.
June 14 2004
 Happy Anniversary
......to my Mommy and Daddy! They've been together for 29 years! Wait, I don't think you heard. They've been together
for 29 years!!!
In this day and age when folks will leave you faster then Kobe bought his wife a million dollar ring, I am so in
awe of this feat. I often imagine how I might be now if I hadn't had both of my parents together all my life. My parents married
with their own set of kids from previous marriages, and those children( aka my older brothers and sister) had to deal with
having step parents.
At times, I would feel sorry for them because they weren't living with the other person who brought them in the
world. For one set of kids, their father lived over 2000 miles away and they would only see him once a year until he died
about ten years ago because of alcohol abuse. The other set of kids mother died when they were young.
As my parents both advance in age, my love an appreciation for them grows exponentially. When you read this or if you
think of me today, think also of the wonderful, loving people who brought me into this world.
June 16 2004
Am I crazy?
Am I crazy or shouldn't a person operating on less than 4 hours of sleep be tired at 6am? Am I crazy or were we not taught
that you need at least 8 hours of sleep?
Am I crazy? Doesn't a person need to eat more than one meal a day? Am I crazy or were we not taught that you should
have 3 square meals a day?
Am I crazy because I haven't been stressed out about not having money? Am I crazy because part of me is glad that taxes taken
from my biweekly earnings aren't being used to build more bombs aiming for colladeral damage?
Am I crazy for secretly wanting Bush to win? Am I crazy for not wanting people to fall asleep under Kerry?
If you can tell me the answers to these questions-----Are you crazy for knowing them?
June 20 2004
Open Air-Share
Drum & Bass super producer & composer, Synapz ( aka Martin), made his New York City debut today at Open Air. Every Sunday they host a gathering called Share which is all about multi-media sound & video collaborations. Attendees hook-up their laptops, keyboards, 8 tracks,
or whatever and its all meshed together as an organic futuristic gumbo.
As you walk into the space, you first encounter a room that would otherwise be empty if not for the bar on your right.
When you enter the next room, on either side are video 5-6 video panels lining the walls. Underneath the panels there's a
sitting area and ports for connecting equipment. Synapz took a seat, connected the laptop and the rest is history.
No he didn't get a major label distribution deal, but he did get some good feedback from other musicians and visual artists.
One of these people is a multi-medium artist named Dan< website>. Very cool cat that was VJing to the beats that Martin spun. There is a way to listen to the session from the Share website,
but I don't know what the deal is with that. I'm sure we'll be there next Sunday for Round 2 so come out if you can or maybe
listen online.
June 23 2004
Post Interview
I went to the job interview today and I left feeling confused. Hopefully writing this will help me sort things out in
my brain.
Quick recap; Lauren has a friend who works for a textile/home fashions company. Her friend is heading up the merchandising
branch of the company and needs an assistant. The assistant would help with data basing, a little photography (still life
of products) and some photoshop/illustrator work. I have zero experience in home fashions, but am well versed in photoshop
and know a little bit about photography.
So I had this interview today with the art director who I'm not sure if he knew that I was a friend of a friend until
I was walking out of the door. The tone of the interview basically was centered on the fact that I had heavy experience in
media and nothing in home fashions.
I was told that they will be interviewing a couple more people in the next few weeks and that I would know something
then. You would think that this was a 6-figure job at how slow the process is going. If I was offered and accepted the job,
it would mean a drastic pay cut from what I've earned over the last few years. Can you put a dollar amount on life experience
and personal growth? I doubt it, put I'm sure there is some loophole in the tax code that provides for such a provision.
Back to square one. I'm still looking and hoping for any work.
June 24 2004
Hard Bop Life
Wahab and I went to a play today called Hard Bop Life. The play consists of many great jazz musicians and has multiple moral layers that unfold throughout the show. I came to
the play with many stressful thoughts in my head and when the show was over, they magically disappeared. The power of music
is an amazing thing and specifically jazz.
Q the main character is a basketball star about to enter the NBA and he's being pulled in many directions. His game starts
to slip. The coach notices this and recommends that he stop listening to a rapper called 'meteor man' because he's rushing
his shots. He gives him a vinyl record of a group called hard bop from a recording made in 1964. Q puts on the record;
good things and clarity soon follow.
I can't speak highly enough about this play. Just listening to the musicians alone is worth admission. The show will
be at the Producer's II Theatre until Sunday and I highly recommend it.
June 25 2004
Money, Moma, Lightning & Painting
Today Wahab and I had an action packed day filled with lightning strikes, surprise money, a museum trip and my first
attempt at painting. Martin is still here in case you are wondering; he's just focused on doing the Drum & Bass thing
and we ventured outside of that realm.
The day started with a trip to Jerry's for lunch and to pickup a surprise check from last week's lecture. Talk about
great timing! I'm so broke that it felt like I won the lotto. Jerry and Wahab talked a lot about silkscreen printing and out
of this conversation, we're arranging a small gathering before Wahab leaves so Jerry can pass on tools of the trade.
Next stop was the Museum of Modern Art in Queens. The main museum in Manhattan is closed for renovation and the Queens
branch had a small amount of artwork in the Queens. Fridays between 4-745pm, attendees pay what they wish (I paid
$1 & money bags Wahab paid $5) which was nice but the work it self was just a tease. They had pieces from Warhol,
Van Gough, etc. but it seemed squeezed together in a small space. You can't complain for a dollar right? I can't wait to go
the real Moma in November.
From there we tried to see the new Michael Moore film 'Fahrenheit 9/11' but the show was sold out. To make matters worse,
the heavens opened and we were soaked with relentless rain. A block from my house, lighting touched down about 50 feet from
us and scared the sssshhh**** out of me! No injuries to report thank God.
After all of this electric activity, seeing museums and talking with great artists, I felt that it was time to
do something I've always wanted to do; paint. Wahab was kind enough to spend a couple hours teaching me some of the techniques
and methods of painting. You can check out the progress in the painting section of the site. Be gentle this is my first piece ok?
June 29 2004
Buffalo/Niagara Falls
I took a trip with the fellas to Buffalo today. Wahab's friend Hassan passed away a few years ago under a
cloud of suspicion. He wanted to go up there to get clarity and closure so we took a trek upstate.
Armed with a few photos of his friend at local pizza joint and bar, we entered the town of Depew, hoping for local
help. First stop was Sgt Pepperoni's. We walked into the spot and it felt like the music stopped and all eyes were on us.
I thought to myself 'we are definitely not in new york city anymore'. Wahab asked the bartender and waitress if they recognized Hassan
or the landmarks in the pictures. They didn't remember him, but directed us down the street to another bar.
Gosh, what was the name of that place? Oh yeah, Mugshots, very appropriate name. The bartender wasn't helpful, but one
of the patrons pointed us to a town called Lakawana that has a large Arabic population. He also gave us the name of a local
hangout.
We arrived at Jacobi's bar feeling like a cross between Colombo and Montel Williams. Not quite sure what that means,
but ok. The owner of the bar was very rude and said 'that is wasn't her problem'. I told him not to let her negativity ruin
the point of his trip; to be closer to his friend.
Although we didn't come across anyone who knew Hassan, hopefully Wahab was able to gain insite into some places and areas
that he enjoyed. In premature deaths, there is sometimes a feeling that you could have done more. Maybe some action or statement
would have changed the outcome. I just feel like you can't control stuff like that. You can only try to cope with the
after effects.
Since we were in the area, we stopped by Niagara Falls. Beautiful place. It was nice to be around natural elements again.
July 2 2004
Bye Wahab
Wahab left town today. By all accounts
this is just what he needed to take his mind off of bigger issues. His next adventure begins July 7th when he departs
for Yemen to meet his potential new wife. If he likes her they’ll get married if not well that’s when the sh**
hits the fan. He promised to give me a weekly update from Yemen so we’ll be there with him sort of. It was great having
him here and when he does get back to the states, I hope he moves to New York with or without a new bride.
So now I’m here with Mr. Drum &
Bass- Martin. I don’t know about you but high-energy music is something I can only handle in small doses. This guy is
like the energizer bunny he never tires from it. No lie, he goes to sleep listening to it. How is that possible?
You know what? I’m leaving town too. No
more drum & bass for at least a weekend. Look out Pennsylvania here I come!
July 3 2004
Crazy Duck
If you couldn’t already tell from
the title of this log, I’m not in some thriving metropolitan city. Instead, I’ve come to check out Terra’s
hometown Halifax, PA. I’ll get to the duck story in a minute first how bout a description of the town?
Every road is surrounded by green stuff.
No not that kind of greenery, more along the lines of trees, cornfields, grass and shrubbery.
It’s beautiful & refreshing to see plants and animals again. The rats in the subways don’t really count
to me.
I went to the house Terra grew up in
and the new owners left a lot of the original place in tact. Running parallel to the house is a creek where I proved to be
typical city boy. I couldn’t handle the excess amount of bugs in the air, on the ground and on me. I hope that I provided
a little comic relief for her because it was a very emotional experience. Her father passed away a few years ago and coming
back here brought back many memories. As I comfort her I start to think of the day when…. I can’t even write about
the subject it’s too hard to even think about.
So back to the crazy duck, Terra’s
friend Deb lives in the town of Mt. Joy. Around her house are a golf course and a cute little pond down the hill from the
house. Terra says ‘Let’s go check out the pond.’ ‘Sure why not,’ I reply. We get halfway done
the hill and we see some creature moving through the water heading for the shore. “What’s that thing?” I
ask. As it got closer Terra says, “It looks like a duck with a funny haircut”. We chuckled at the ugly duckling
and noticed it was making a B line toward us. “Uh…I think it coming right at you.” I said. Terra
starts backpedaling up the hill. I remain still. Mr. Ducky is looking like an airplane on a runway gaining speed. He (don’t
argue with me on this I don’t know the gender of it so let just say it was a male) speeds past me and the chase is on.
God, this had to be one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in my life! Terra is now in an all out sprint and Mr.
Ducky is probably feeling like a lion at this point. She makes it to the driveway,the duck stops and let’s out a final
quack before taking a break to clean himself.
We tested out the theory a couple times to see
if he would only chase her and every time he did except when she hid behind me and Mr. Ducky bit my foot a couple times
for aiding her. It didn’t hurt and no animals were injured during filming. Funny stuff.
July 11 2004
Motives
I'm in a very difficult space today. Lately I've been feeling that I'm living in a fantasy world that can't sustain itself
much longer. Part of me feels like I'm deceiving everyone and the true meaning of my actions is just for my entertainment.
When I left Cali, my world was so stagnate and dry that I decided to make a new one. A New York playground just for me
and my ideas. And in this dream, you are supposed to care that I'm living it up. You are supposed to be impressed that
I drove 3000 miles to begin a new. But why?
You see, I'm more needy than I like to portray. The value of my actions matter only if they resonate beyond
my own experience. My writings over the past few weeks have been sub par and I apologize for that. They haven't been
coming from a place that it started from and this is an attempt at getting back to that place. Back to where I'm bearing my
soul all in the name of self-discovery- ok that was even too dramatic for my taste.
I'm saying that I don't want to be so wrapped up in my fantasy world that I fail to come down to earth and express
my love and appreciation. God knows I need all the support I can get right now and I also want to feel that what I'm giving
has meaning also.
July 12 2004
Mistakes & Mustard
Today was a rainy and dreary day; just the way I like it. In my interactions with others I feel like a fish out
of water anyway so having an abundance of rain levels the playing field for me. I got up this morning to greet the rain,
when I noticed a package sitting outside of my door.
I grab it, take inside the kitchen (appropriately) and pre-scan it. You know, shake it, smell it, use x-ray vision,
the whole nine. It passed inspection. I open the box and to my utter surprise it's filled with GOLD packages.....of mustard.
That's right mustard. Who the hell sends a box of mustard? I'll give you a hint....he's over in Yemen right now.
When Wahab was out here, I complained about not being able to find 'regular' mustard any where in New York when dining
out. Dijon mustard is king here. Feeling my pain, he mailed this goldmine before leaving the country. What
a guy! Seriously though, it's one of the best gifts I've gotten this month. So where do you go with a box full of mustard?
To a diner of course!
Ok, I didn't go to a diner with a box full of mustard. It actually wasn't related but made a nice transition. I met
up with my friend Emily at Joe Jr's diner (don't laugh) in Union Square. I shared some of my photography, she shared
some of her writing and conversation was going great. When it was time to pay for the meal, I was told that they didn't except
credit cards and I was totally embarrassed. Maybe I should have brought the mustard and bartered for the meal. At any rate,
Emily picked up the tab, I picked up what was left of my ego and headed home.
So the moral of the story is never leave home without a box of mustard that comes in the mail during a rain storm. Or
something like that.
July 14 2004
Outcast
According to new poll results, my approval ratings are lower then George Bush's in San Francisco right about now. It's
a landslide! Most, no all voters feel that I will regret my decision to use credit to survive right now. Regret what?
Regret implies that there exists some feeling of sorrow or disappointment during reflection of a decision or action.
I can tell you right now that I have never felt happier in my life. After all isn't that what's important? Folks always say
'I just want to be happy' -sometimes going for that happiness means doing some crazy sh** that will aid you along your
path.
I know that this is just a short-term solution, but I'm glad that I'm not working a job right now. Anybody out there know what
I'm talking about? Having to wait for my paycheck like its some damn allowance weeks after earning the money, wasn't
making me happy. Giving up tax dollars to fund 'smart' missiles just seemed dumb to me. What's at stake here isn't how I pay
for that steak, it's about what I need to experience and create before moving on to the next world.
And in the next world I doubt that I'll look back on my life and say, 'damn I should have used cash instead
of credit on July 14 to buy those groceries'. What an idiot I was! I'm more likely to ask, ' Hey anybody know where
I can find John Coltrane?' That's something to look forward to.
I can't look back now or ever for that matter and regret actions I've taken. Time is fleeting and I dont have the
luxury of changing the past so why bother? What I can do with my time is be productive creatively and work toward
a long-term solution and that is what is taking place. If I have to go back to the plantation I will, but believe
me I'm in no hurry.
July 15 2004
Pablo
Today I noticed that at the bottom of every page on this site, exists a link that says 'tell me when this page is updated'.
I guess all you have to do is give 'tripod' your email address and you'll get an email update. Who knows what they do with
your info, but at least you'll save some time.
It is almost time for Nerissa & Earl's wedding (Friday) and one of my best friends Pablo is in town for the special occasion. Beyond that, he is also presiding over the wedding uttering such words as 'I
now pronounce you....etc, etc'. This should be interesting cause he's not a priest, not that he has to be, but it's a very
21st century approach. I'll make sure he doesn't have too many drinks before hand and forget his lines.
Remembering those lines must be a lot easier then becoming a U.S. citizen these days and Pablo did just that about
a month ago. Hailing from the Dominican Republic, we crossed paths during my college years in New Orleans. As I become more
disillusioned with our way of life in this country, I'm still reminded that the demand to get here is higher then anywhere
else. Yes, not even a 'Prince' concert can outdraw the daily influx of people coming here by train, plane, boat or automobile.
And that's not even counting those shadow people who travel here by spaceship. Let me stop before you guys think I'm
even crazier.
Yeah its great to have my brother Pablo here and stay tuned for a recap of the wedding and his performance.
July 16 2004
 Wedding Day
Let me send my love and congratulations to Nerissa and Earl Johnson on their marriage and for a beautiful ceremony today.
Looking out at the Manhattan skyline from Long Island City Piers in Queens was an amazing site to behold. The couple
hail from New Orleans and that brought people up to ny for the occasion. Great fusion!
'Minister' Pablo being one of them and yes he did a fabulous job. His classic line was "By the power vested in me
by me I now pronounce you husband and wife".
The reception was held at the Stinger Club where I had a great dose of soul food. I'm talking jambalaya, colla greens, macaroni and cheese-the whole nine. I started
to miss my parents after the meal and even more so when Earl's mom, Mama Johnson, gave speeches about being a good man and
about thanking the chef. I know if I ever get married, my mom will do the same thing.
So tonight begins a new moon and a new life together for Nerissa and Earl. Tonight before you go to sleep, channel a
bit of your energy in their direction for happiness, understanding and strength now and forever.
July 17 2004
 String Theory
I returned to the world of television today. No not in the employment since but in the sit on the couch and turn my mind
off way. Or so I thought....
One of my favorite programs on PBS, Nova, has a series called the Elegant Universe. On this show, I was introduced to
the String Theory-a so called Theory of Everything.
I'm always skeptical of anything that attempts to provide a single solution to an entire group be it people, planets
or peanuts. In this case, I became intrigued with an element of the theory that explains reality and non-reality. I assure
you it has nothing to do with reality tv shows, but it could.
In our 'real world' we see things in 3 dimensions (aka 3-D) and are ruled by a fourth dimension called Time. The string
theory speaks of 10 dimensions (one modification allows for 26) in our own universe! Can you imagine? My mind races with the overall possibilities of this.
At my educational instituitons we were told that we only have five senses. I think that as this theory evolves,
what we call intuition or conscious or karma or the holy spirit will be officially crowned as the a 6th sense needed in 'viewing'
these other unseen dimensions. But hey, what do I know? I'm just another smuck watching the tube.
July 18 2004
Wahab's Struggle
After reading Wahab's email today, I understand how severe the pressure is on him right now. The choice before him isn't just about marriage, its
more about his individual freedom versus the will of his family. To choose his own path would be interpreted as a slap in
the face to his famliy, religion and tradition. But why?
This is very upsetting to me because I know how giving Wahab is to everyone in his life. There are times when he gives
too much. One time while he was in New York, a man approached us and asked if we spoke Spanish. A lady needed help
transferring to another train and the station was across the street. Wahab starts chatting in Spanish and walks out of
the station escorting her to the other platform. It was a very kind gesture but his unlimited subway card wouldn't let him
re-enter for 2 hours. I gave him my card to re-enter but that just shows that he's willing to go out of his way for a
stranger. Can you imagine what he does for his family?
Now I find myself sitting here wishing I could do more. Wishing there was some way for me to interject and get him out
of this situation, but I can't. It's a rite of passage the he's going through and we just have to wait until he makes it through
this dense forest with all of its traps and snares. And when you reach the other side my friend, we'll be waiting for you
with open arms. Geez that just sounded like a hallmark card or something but I hope you get what I'm saying.
July 26 2004
He did it
Wahab got married. I've been trying to figuring out how I feel about this and I'm not sure yet. I think I'll let
it soak in for a day and come back to this later. In the meantime this is what he wrote:
*********************************************************************************
'I got married on a Monday morning.....'
-by Wahab Algarmi
before i go any further
let me explain how marriage here works.
first is the "khutba" or engagment, which already happened without my knowledge
while i was still state side.
second is the "agd" or the i dos between me and the girls father, which happened today and
officially makes here my wife...
third is the "iris" or wedding party, which can last up to a week.
im betting a few
a you are reading this and thinking "well have you seen her yet?" yes, i have. shes pretty. granted the poor thing had a lot
of make up caked on. shes 19 years old with a birthday in october. neither one of us slept sunday night. my stomach
was killing me from lunch that day and my nerves were shot to shit. but you know me, i made the best of the situation and
made myself at home... she had to tell me to sit up because i was making here uncomfortable. we sat alone for as long as i
could get with her which was about 2 to 3 hours. i played rock paper scisors with her jabbed her in the ribs with my finger
made her jump, and constant farting noises from my mouth whenever i couldnt think of anything else to say. i have no idea
what ive gotten myself into this time... she seems okay, im still not sure if shes going to take well to the american life
style but oh well i guess i get to that when WE get to that. funy how i gotta think in those terms now.
the agd went well, i didnt hurl or freak out or anything like that. her dad is pretty cool. hellsa old and sick too. we (my
family and i ) brought the preacher to his house where my father in law constantly made fun of him for not looking like a
preacher but more like a con artist. the preacher read some words as we held each others hands and repeated. i didnt sweat
or freak or any of that. i dont know how i remained cool as a cucumber, but i did. after that they other guests threw raisins
and almonds on me... dont ask. after a few minutes of signing my single life away, everyone left the room and the girl's...
maha's mom came in i said hello (still not knowing her moms name) gave her some money (tradition calls for 20,000 rials...
thats 184.7 rials to every dollar). she said thank you and then sent her daughter in. at this point i could only imagine myself
as a movie character waiting for his bashful prom date to come down the steps. palms sweety as ever, i greeted maha with a...
i cant remember. the next 2 hours are a blur. i hit her with every question i could think of. we did have a few awkward silences,
but im king cracking ice so i did. by the end of our short time together we were doing pretty good. then my sister showed
up. the women at my house sent her to take pictures of the newlyweds. me and my sister were going off at the mouth. (for those
of you that know my sister you know i taught her well in the ways of being annoying) i asked my sister if she knew the name
of my mother in law, in english of course, and she didnt know either.
this ones getin long im gonna cut it here for now...
as far as how i feel, its not 100% great and its definetly not somber as last week... but its still not the end of this story.
wahab"whish
i knew how to feel abou tall this but i dont" algarmi
p.s. let me know how the con was ...and surges sorry pool skills...
********************************************************************************
I'm speechless.
July 30 2004
 Blue Moon
I woke up this morning feeling the pull of the approaching full moon, but didn't know what to make of it. What direction
is it pulling me towards? As I was about to play the Super Nintendo version of Metroid 3, my answer arrived.
Shelly told me that she found a new apartment. My reaction internally was surprise and anxiety. Our sublet
ends September 15th and the landlords will get a 30-day notice by August 15th from David and Lauren, meaning that Shelly and
I needed to decide to sign a lease or something else. The something else has happened so where does that leave me?
At the moment it leaves me lost. Lost without a firm decision on my next move. Will I move out or will someone
else be moving in? How can I get passed the income requirement without a steady job? Will I stay in New York or continue on
to another country? I have no clue what the answers are, but I suspect that details will be revealed to me in the upcoming
week.
What I do know is that I have truly enjoyed Act I in this adventure. I must remain open to all possibilities so that
Act II will be as enjoyable. I'm proud of Shelly for seizing the moment and getting a place that she wanted. She has been
the best roommate I could ask for. More than that she's a great friend.
Well, the saga continues but this site maybe coming to an end soon. 'Joe Goes to New York' living in Paris
just doesn't sound right. I appreciate everyone for checking in on me and we've got many moments left in New
York to experience.
August 3 2004
 I Heart New York
I'm sitting hear pondering the possibilities of my next move, I cannot ignore how much being in New York has
meant for my peace of mind. Coming to New York to find peace seems like such a ridiculous idea with all of the noise
and people and 'stuff', but I found it.
My biggest achievement thus far has been defining my idea of what New York is. It doesn't have to be a fashion
show or about honking your own every five minutes. For me it means going into Manhattan when I feel like it not because there
is something that I have to see. It also means locking myself in my room and working creatively for 16 hours straight without
even thinking about stopping. Throw in the slice of pizza, not pie 'cause where I'm from we call it pizza, and I'm loving
the place.
Now it's all about coming up with a way to do that and I keep coming back to the income question. It must be addressed
now with the same tenacity that I used to travel across the great plains of this great nation. Let's hope that this happens
soon.
August 5 2004
 Yankees, Tampons & White Castle
There is no way to tie in these 3 completely different subject matters so I'm not gonna try. Shawn already did a nice job of recaping the day, so I'll put a spin on each subject.
Shawn got 85% love from the yankee fans and only about 15% hate for rocking his Oakland A's gear. It helped that
he wasn't a Red Sox fan and also that the A's lost to the Yankees 3 of the last 4 years in the playoffs. It's true I
did cheer for the Yankees, but only to make the other surrounding yankee fan base 'think' that I teased him for the greater
yankee area. I like to think that I helped to make his experience a pleasant one. This is what spin is all about folks.
Ok, the tampons. Let's come back to that later.
White Castle was the nations first fast food restaurant (I stole this fact from Shelly). And tonight was the first time
that Shelly and Shawn had a White Castle meal. I was just wondering why my stomach was hurting and now I remember....
Do I have to talk about tampons? That's what I kept asking them, but they wanted to know why I wasn't comfortable with
buying tampons. Shawn has no problem with the subject matter and Shelly feels that my idea of woman is that of a goddess so
anything that would snap me out of that fantasy- i.e. tampons (I guess cause goddesses don't.....you know.....) is something
I avoid. Well you're gonna have to make your own generalizations 'cause I'm done with this subject.
August 7 2004
 Revival
I woke up this morning super excited about attending my first New York Block Party. The time was 10:30am and I heard a
voice saying "Ladies and Gentleman, please move your cars so we can set up for this block party."
I crawl out of bed and begin the process of waking up. It normally takes two hours to gain full consciousness, but on
this day I was determined to do it in an hour. I peek out the window and see tents set up right in front of my house!
I'm thinking 'this is the best seat in the house'.
Minutes later, a guy gets on the microphone and says, 'Ladies and gentleman, thank you for welcoming us to your block.
We have plenty of hot dogs. They are free so help yourself. We are testing the sound and the service will start shortly."
Wait a minute. Rewind. I know I heard hot dogs and free but did he just say service as in 'church service'? Maybe I'm
still not awake yet...that must be it. Suddenly the sounds of gospel music in spanish are blaring into my once tranquil room.
Ok, there's gospel music. I better hurry and make it the hot dogs cause after singing comes a sermon. And I've been saved
once and don't need it again.
"Ladies and Gentleman, I want to thank God for this beautiful day. I want to give you a testimonial about how I
was saved." Dang, I'm too late! Well, so much for the free hot dogs.
I crank up my music and try to drown out the message, but its no use. Shelly hears the commotion, peeks out the
window and suggests that we sit on our stoop to observe the festivites. "Are you sure?" I ask, knowing that we are going to
be prime targets. "Yeah why not."
With the exception of a few sporadic neighbors, the block was empty. The church members accounted for 95% of the people
at the 'block party'. At first we were left alone to our own sideline commentary. The entire time, we are plotting
on how to get a hot dog without being caught up in this. A lady brings us literature and I take it. This is it! It's our
ticket to the hot dog. I say to Shelly, "So yeah, all you have to do is carry this over to the hot dog stand, showing that
we care and won't hassel us. So how bout it?" She wasn't buying it.
Next a guy brings over a new testament bible in spanish. Now this has to be the ticket right? A guy on the microphone
says, 'If you are hurting out there and need us to pray for you, please come up to the front here.' Ah shucks here it comes.
He looks to his left points to us and says, "To the two people on the steps, is it ok if I pray for you?" I give him the thumbs
up and the okay sign to do so. He says, "I really would like it if you guys came up here so we could lay hands on and pray
for you. Can we do that?" The collective response was a "No that's quite ok, thanks." We bailed when they closed their
eyes to pray.
Why can't a block party be a block party? And why can't a free hot dog come without a guilty feeling? I would have settle
for one even without mustard. Oh well.
August 11 2004
 Twin Brother
Did you know that I have a twin brother? Yeah, that's right and can you guess his name? Give up? It's Joey. Yes I know
Joe & Joey. I've heard so many comments about that but its true.
We are always polar opposites in different points in our lives. For example, I was very religious growing up and he wasn't-now
I am just about anti-religion and he is super religious. He's married I'm not. He's used drugs and alcohol, I haven't. Ok,
maybe I'm just an oddball on  that one, but you get the idea. For you astrology buffs, maybe its because we are twins born of a dual nature sign.....for you environmental psychologists
maybe its because he was placed in a foster home before I started kindergarten. There are lots of un-answered questions that
I have about all of the above.
Just as this site as helped me sort out my 'new york' adventure, I hope that writing will do the same for helping us
make sense of this. I'm going to ask Joey to co-author a book roughly titled 'altered ego' where the first half of the book
is his story and flipping the book over is my story. There will be no discussion on what to write, it's an experiment to see
how much in sync or out of sync our lives have been.
I'll keep you informed....
August 18 2004
Inside
I stayed inside today. It's safe here, inside my fantasy world. No one gets hurt and the world spins at a pace that I
can understand. Anything is possible and time is just one of many luxuries. But, I'm afraid the time is near when I will re-enter
earth's atmosphere and deal with my nemesis- reality.
Reality loves to bring me down. It wants me to acknowledge that I'm in a state of severe loneliness, but I won't give
in. It tells me to panic about not having a job or place to stay next month, but it can't phase me as long as I'm draped in
the clouds of optimism.
The air that elevated me into the clouds is getting heavier and I'm slowly descending to the earth. It's challenging
to look forward or up when you're moving in a downward spiral, but I'm trying to. I keep waiting for the breath of fresh
air that will keep my soul soaring through the sky, but it hasn't arrived yet.
I hope it comes. I know it will. I hope it will.
August 21 2004
 Imagine
We did so much today that its hard to remember everything, but I'll give it a shot.
The first stop of the day was to Strawberry Fields to visit the John Lennon memorial site. Isabel is a huge Beatles fan and this was another must see local on her trip.
A few blocks away, we joined her cousin Molly and husband John for dessert at Cafe Lalo. If you've seen the film 'You've Got Mail', this is the place where Meg Ryan
waits for her first in-the-flesh meeting with the mysterious Mr. NY152 (Tom Hanks).
Next it was off to the theatre district in hopes of catching a play. We got there too late so we took
photos outside the Ed Sullivan theatre, where the late show with David Letterman is recorded, and maneuvered our way through
the masses in Times Square.
From there went to the World Trade Center site. The scale of damage is massive and the air seems to
be very dense. I felt a great sadness and anger come over me as I remembered seeing images of people jumping from the
towers to their deaths.
We went back to Brooklyn to join forces with Shelly for what turned out to be a night of great
music and dancing. I'm sure when I actually do go to sleep I will be exhausted beyond belief, but right now I don't want this
day to end. I used to imagine living in New York and what it would feel like to be exposed to so many different activities
but now I can actually live it. It's a great feeling.
August 26 2004
My Prayer
Yeah me, Mr. Anti-Religion prayed today. I'm still very spiritual but I haven't prayed in a long time, probably the last
time I was on an airplane. So, my prayer went a little something like this.....
Dear God,
Please comfort my family as we deal with the death of my cousin.
Grab his hand and guide him to the next life.
I really really really need a job.
I'm sure you know this 'cause you are an avid reader of my website,
but please help soon.
The point of no return is soon approaching and I'm keeping in mind
that I was at this point in April with no place to live and the best
scenario ever worked out in my favor.
please, please, please help.
Amen
I actually fell asleep and forgot to say Amen, but I think God understands.
August 29 2004
 Protest
Today was quite an amazing display of solidarity against in many people's eyes public enemy #1- George W. Bush. The Protest Against the Bush Agenda was the largest protest ever against an active president and the largest protest at a party convention, nearly 500,000 people.
It felt great to be a part of such an exercise.
The day started early for us (Shelly, Jason & Joe) as we reached the meeting local for other volunteers. We were
given a destination to hand out broadsheets or as Jason called them logistical information or vital information. Overall people
were pretty nice and thanked us for them. I was even more impressed with the calm cooperative manner of NYPD.
After a couple hours of handing out these sheets, the heat and hunger wore us down and we escaped to eat at
a diner. Krispe Kreme donuts weren't doing the job.
We went back to our 'post' just in time to enter the march as it started. It was wonderful to see a lot of senior citizens
and ex-hippies in attendance and I talked with some of them to see what parallels can be drawn from the political
atmosphere then and now. One glaring difference is that there is no draft board to go in front of. I know I wouldn't be fighting
in this so-called war on terrorism.
I encourage you to take a glance at the first wave of pictures from the protest here. The files are large so for slow connection allow more time. You might even see a picture of yours truly and the president......
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