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Entry 1-
well, im here. I know you all want to know how hot this girl
is but i haven't met her and probably wont for a while. Im really fighting an up hill battle as far as the wedding goes. my
grandpa wanted to take me on the third day and finish all the buisness with the girl's father. i feel like im in the toughest
after school special ever. peer pressure is a muther fucker. ill let you all know whats what when i know. pardon on all the
typos but this board sucks. take care and ill write soon.
wahab"from the future" algarmi
Entry 2-
hey guys, thanks for the letters, if people ask about me feel free to forward
these e mails to whoever cares. yesterday i had lunch with the president of yemen... im not kidding. I have a picture
and if i can get the scanner to work ill send you the image. it was part of a seventy three couple wedding ceremony. the prez
paid for a bunch of the poorer people that work for him to get married. 2 of the grooms happened to be neighbors of mine
and we got invited to the gigantic lunch/ceremony.
wahab"hangin with the prez"algarmi
Entry 3-
well, officaly , i've been here a week and just by the fact that im keeping
track, you should be able to tell, im not having fun. the trip gets getting tougher and tougher. I found out my family here
all expected me to just get married , period. i feel like my parents bith tricked me somehow... when i told some of my aunts
that i wanted to see the girl before i get married they just laughed. wow. most of you probably have ever seen me really serious...
after a few tries it finally sunk into them that i was serious about meeting her first. most importantly i got that message
through to my grandfather who is leaving for the village tomorrow (thank god) he said its my decison and is happy with whatever
i do... you should all know that is a load of shit because he's old and old people want their way. (joe, i hate old folks)
then theres the fact that the whole fucking middle east knows my business! fucking a! i might have to slug the next person
that asks me when my wedding is. i thought it was annoying in the states, its 100 times worse here! anyway im trying to stay
together and enjoy my time with my cousins while i can. thats really become a focus of the trip. i'm still waiting to meet
this girl with the chance i might actually like her. but how reallistic that is, is beyond me... im really starting to wonder
why i come back here if not for my family, and after this trip they may never want to see me again....
wahab" losin more
hair" algarmi
Entry 4-
yesterday was tough...remember the crack about peer pressure, well yesterday
i got a shit load of it. the people that my father put in charge of helping me get married are my aunt from my dads side and
her husband who i respect and love more than anyone here.(they named their last kid after me) them, my other aunt (dads
side), mom, step grandmom (dads side) sat me down and had a heart to heart. or a, lets see how far we can push this guy before
he jumps off the bridge himself, session. it was like a half hour of what hell must be like, seriously my head still hurts.
they werent yelling at me, it was the exact opposet, they were telling me how much they loved me and only wanted the best
for me and they would never do... yada yada yada. it made me so fucking sick. if i were a coward i would have blown my own
brain out by now. they kept telling me the only way i was going to see this girl is to take the next step in the marriage.
no fucking way. if thats the only way for me to get to know her, fuck it i dont need the horseshit. i really am sick of being
here and i havent even been to the village yet... thats another disaster waiting to happen. if it feels like everyone here
knows my buiz, there, everyone really does know my buiz! the sad part is i dont know what my alternative to marriage here
is. my family wont let me have any kind of relationship with someone in the states and that hurts, ive let go of far too many
great women in the past. i feel like im being forced to choose between family, culture, religion, a love life, and my own
sanity... i know im going on and on and im only sending this to you...you dont even have to respond to this i just needed
to rant to someone i know is reading and cares. thanks for reading and i hope i still have some piece of sanity when i get
back.
wahabalgarmi
Entry 5-
well, i think im officially crazy. im starting to see i dont really have
a choice one way or another in this decision. my family is like a team of jack hammers tearing away at me.they dont understand
"no" as an answer. i tried to come here with an open mind and see if i can learn to love this girl. ifeel cheated by my father
as if he just kept lying and pushing till i trusted him and next thing i knew hes dangling me over this edge. whenever i go
out with friends, they always ask "whens the wedding" all i can answer to that is "soon, god willing" my sister even gets
that question... ive started to have dreams about different things too. not waking dreams, but wierd dreams i can remember
over time. the other day i dreamt about the girl im supposed to marry... she turned out to look like a young skinny indian
boy... we were on a wooden raft like huck finn style.... i know i know it sounds really fucking gay and creepy. needless to
say i woke up in a cold sweat that day. besides that, there is the fact that i came here to see this girl and that has yet
to happen.thats making me go mad as well. i want to know if shes hot or not damn it! i have a new plan on that... i cant trust
my family, or can i?... i told my sister to infeltrate and report back to me asap. i still have some kind of positive outlook
here it just seems like that positive outlook ends with me being married to some chick i dont know. on the plus side of that,
i can finally go back to being me... happy and go lucky. the past few years have slowly torn me down. i dont feel or look
like i used to... i hate that fact. losing weight was great to a certain extent, but i wonder how much of that is due to lack
of sleep and worry, and how much of it was really jogging and dancing. sometimes i jog because i felt i had to. im ranting
i know, i know, but damn it i think im entitled rigt now. the thing that looms over my head every day more than anything is
what my relationship with my father is going to be like now. we were always cool until the marriage came up, then i started
spending way more time outside the house. doing whatever.(thanks for putting up with me alex) now i dont know if i even want
to see the man again. married or not. i dont know if i can ever really trust him again. thats a sad thng to say about your
own father. the part of me that came here to see my family and have fun is almost all spent. the family i like,
ive seen, the family thats left, im not really trying to make an effort to go see. my cousins husband called me out on that
today too, he asked why i was being antisocial. have any of you ever known me to be that? i hate feeling the way i do these
days.i cant even get out the house by myself to take a walk. for the first time my uncle tom (or bruce wayne as i like to
call him) is a pain in the ass, he insists on taking me wherever i want to go. it was never like that before. i want to get
lost sometimes and take a walk but he wont take no for an answer, i swear if i go on one more day trip to an amuesment park
with the kids, imma snap... if i havent already... i dont know what else to say for now... i really am not having fun these
days and that is so unlike me it makes me sick. i really am close to saying fuck it and just going through with it. my new
friend shelly i think put it best... it was something along the lines of, well this could be the first in the line of a bunch
of reall great marriages... now that really would be american of me...
wahab"wish you were here" algarmi
p.s. i mean
"wish I WERE THERE"
Entry 6-
well, im up to my eyeballs in bullshit, the wedding keeps rolling on wether
i want it to or not. the good news is ill finally get to meet the girl. right around the end of sd con. which, by the way, i want a full report on. other than that, ive taken up swimming at the local gentalmans club. im pretty
good. i guess its like riding a bike ... once you learn. it helps that i have a teacher whos payment is to learn english in
exchange. cool. anyway, im mostly a vegtable these days just kind of gliding thjrough the days. since my family wouldnt take
no for an answer im actually trying to look forward to seeing this girl... my sister reported back and it seems ok. she wouldnt
tell me about the important stuff, like breast size and ass shape... she said that was rude and gross. of course i was only
kidding with her... anyway, full report on the con, and ill let you guys know whats going on here.... wahab"what the hell
am i doin?" algarmi
Entry 7-'I got married on a Monday morning.....'
before i go any further let me explain how marriage here works.
first
is the "khutba" or engagment, which already happened without my knowledge while i was still state side.
second is the "agd"
or the i dos between me and the girls father, which happened today and officially makes here my wife...
third is the "iris"
or wedding party, which can last up to a week.
im betting a few a you are reading this and thinking "well have you seen
her yet?" yes, i have. shes pretty. granted the poor thing had a lot of make up caked on. shes 19 years old with a birthday
in october. neither one of us slept sunday night. my stomach was killing me from lunch that day and my nerves were shot
to shit. but you know me, i made the best of the situation and made myself at home... she had to tell me to sit up because
i was making here uncomfortable. we sat alone for as long as i could get with her which was about 2 to 3 hours. i played rock
paper scisors with her jabbed her in the ribs with my finger made her jump, and constant farting noises from my mouth whenever
i couldnt think of anything else to say. i have no idea what ive gotten myself into this time... she seems okay, im still
not sure if shes going to take well to the american life style but oh well i guess i get to that when WE get to that. funy
how i gotta think in those terms now.
the agd went well, i didnt hurl or freak out
or anything like that. her dad is pretty cool. hellsa old and sick too. we (my family and i ) brought the preacher to his
house where my father in law constantly made fun of him for not looking like a preacher but more like a con artist. the preacher
read some words as we held each others hands and repeated. i didnt sweat or freak or any of that. i dont know how i remained
cool as a cucumber, but i did. after that they other guests threw raisins and almonds on me... dont ask. after a few minutes
of signing my single life away, everyone left the room and the girl's... maha's mom came in i said hello (still not knowing
her moms name) gave her some money (tradition calls for 20,000 rials... thats 184.7 rials to every dollar). she said thank
you and then sent her daughter in. at this point i could only imagine myself as a movie character waiting for his bashful
prom date to come down the steps. palms sweety as ever, i greeted maha with a... i cant remember. the next 2 hours are a blur.
i hit her with every question i could think of. we did have a few awkward silences, but im king cracking ice so i did. by
the end of our short time together we were doing pretty good. then my sister showed up. the women at my house sent her to
take pictures of the newlyweds. me and my sister were going off at the mouth. (for those of you that know my sister you know
i taught her well in the ways of being annoying) i asked my sister if she knew the name of my mother in law, in english of
course, and she didnt know either.
this ones getin long im gonna cut it here for now... as far as how i feel, its not 100%
great and its definetly not somber as last week... but its still not the end of this story.
wahab"whish i knew how to feel
abou tall this but i dont" algarmi
p.s. let me know how the con was ...and surges sorry pool skills...
Entry 8-
well here we go with round 2. first let me explain a little bit more about
how the wedding works. i havent spent the night with her yet. that happens on the last night of the "iris" which, hopefully
is only going to be 2 nights, instead of the village average of a week! so far all i got is 2 hours or so with her. i wanted
to go see her today but my uncle told me to wait till tomorrow... i swear it almost feels like dating someone new and im not
calling just to make her more anxious (a habit i never practiced by the way. also id like to say happy birthday to sherwin.
i cant tell if i got married on his birthday or the day after. im in the future yo!
we left off with me and my sister talking
smack in english about my wifes mom. my wife wanted to take pictures and i told her it was a bad idea, we werent comfortable
with each other yet. she insisted and i put my arm around her and she freaked out. me and my sister started to laugh. we took
a few pics and my sister split. as soon as she did my wife turned to me and said (in arabic) "so, you dont know my moms name?"...after
removing my foot from my mouth, something im used to, as you all know, we went back to small talk. seriously its just like
dating with higher stakes at the table.after awhile she split for prayer and guests were coming for lunch. i prayed and ate
a meal on my behalf with a bunch of fools ive never met.its really wierd to me that my folks thought id be down with all this.
after lunch we all left and i went home. giuests tried to get me to go to someone elses house to go chew. (most of you should
know what im talking about) but i wanted to go home and play uno with my cousins... im a grown married man playing uno...after
awhile i drove the women in my house back to my in laws place where i was greeted by little kids chanting my name like i wa
s a prize fighter. that felt pretty fucking good and has to be one of the small highlights of the trip, seriously, better
than having lunch with the president. so i drop my family off and bolt. its the first time i was alone the whole trip. granted
my sister tagged along but thats okay with me. we drove around for awhile and went home. thats about all for thje agd. ill
let you all know the next time i see her or what not take care and take it easy, if not for your sake then for mine.
wahab"less
stress, but one hell of a mess none the less" algarmi
Entry 9-
well, i got to see the wifey again. we talked about random shit... sopmething
im good at. my sleeping is getting better. she says she still cant sleep, wghen i asked her why, she said she was worried
i was blowing smoke up her ass. like once i had her in bed or in america im going to turn into some kind of monster... she
obviously dont know me yet. im an angel... hey, stop laughing. to answer questions, i havent sent any photos at all, because
i cant find a scanner that works, second i di havent developed mahas photo yet. but i did get a better look at her tyhis time
around (no make up) i would describe her as lustry. like old school catwoman. i know im into sturdy, but we'll see how
far i can go with lustry. in other news, leave it to me to stumble across probably the only screenprint supply shop
in sanna (the capitol of yemen) i seriously walked by, stopped, reversed and and walked in. (joe knows how i do it after walking
around with me for 2 weeks straight). no, im not going to print while i mhere but it sure felt good just to see that stuff.
i dont know when my wedding is but it seems like my family isnt going to let me get away with something small. of course you
know more, when i do... which is usually after the fact. by the by if you havent checked it out, joes website has been keeping
up with all my blow by blows, as well hes opened up his online photogallery/shop. check it out at joegoestonewyork.tripod.com
hes really talented and only getting better. i hope to find a scanner soon.
wahab" heading for a heart attack" algarmi
Entry 10-
okay, it was a pain in the ass, but i finally found a scanner. the big
group picture has the prez to the top right wearing the swanky hat. the photo in the living room isof my wedding day (agd)
my father in law to the left, my uncle tom with his back to us, and me on the right looking calm and collect. the last photo
is your basic fish out of water pic... anyway, the other day i meant to write sultry. my wife has a sultry look about her.
she scares me. today i took the 2000 gmc yukon to her house, we had a lovely morning, i left before lunch, went to the olympic
sized pool swam a few laps and then i snapped. it wasnt the first time, but it was the first time i was fully aware that i
freaked out... what am i talking about? im fucking married! i wasnt dreaming, im lucky i didnt drown in that pool. im cool
but i realize my sleep cycle is starting to fuck up again. all i thoink about is what the hell am i gonna do with this girl!
its notas bad as it sounds but after havin a nice day for the first time in i dont know how long, looking over my shoulder
for the karma to take a swing at me wasnt as stupid an idea as it sounds.if this what being happy is like... i aint used to
it yet. definetly better than before though.
wahab" freaking out for a whole new reason" algarmi
Entry 11-
well, the other day i finally made it down to the village (mallah) yesterday.
the wedding is almost here, aug.13 or 14, im not really too sure. a lot of people came up from the village but there weere
a lot of people i havent seen. my uncle needed to go down to the village for a wedding in his family. i took the opportunity
to go down with him and say hello to my step grandma and remaining aunties and uncle. my wifey is there for her half of the
wedding which should already be taking place as we speak. everyone was making fun of me saying i was following her down there.
i didnt even get to see her. she knew i was there though, its hard to miss my ride. not too many people have american cars
here. my dad shipped a gmc yukon out to the middle east. ive never been a big car person, but i gotta say, there is something
about everyone staring at my ride, that i find kinda cool. anyway, i said hello to my aunties, one ive never met, the other
is sick and the last never gets to go anywhere. i also said hello to granny and the remainder of my cousins who are growing
up to be fine young men... shit, i thought they were gonna end up in jail, their sister on the other hand ...we got to the
village before noon and were home before sunset. in and out like ninjas. it was a good day trip. other than that this next
week is gonna be crazy the wedding is getting out of hand, even my wife is getting carried away, which doesnt matter
to me since its all on her and mine is on me... the one thing i insisted on is my old roomate AJ, to sing at my wedding. i
asked him today" aj, my family and i would be honored if you sang at my wedding" his reply, "boy , way to put the pressure
on" but yes he will do it. for those of you whop dont know hes had 3 well recieved albums where he raps in english and
arabic. he also has a regga side kick that performed with him on several tracks on the second and third album. as far as the
wifey goes... we are doing okay. im enjoying everything with her , but i also feel like im being extra careful not to fuck
anything up. shes only been gone less than a week and she already misses me. thats sweet but man do i know what to say to
that? the obvious answer is, i miss you too, boo. but i just couldnt say it, or i love you. i try, but there must be an emergency
brake system in my throat or something. i guess with time ill get over all that(i hope) take care and ill let you all know
what the wedding is like ijn a week. if anything else comes up ill write before then. see you all soon.
wahab"wedding bells
toll for thee!" algarmi
Entry 12-
if anyone would like to call, my number is 011 9671 610 793. use a phone
card its cheaper. my birthday was yesterday and my family went all out. it was a really sweet gesture because people dont
have a lot of money to thow around here. that made it all the more special. i knew they made me a cake but i had no idea they
went as far as they did. i was pretty embarrased, i havent had a party like that since i was a kid. even my younger cousins
scrapped money together for presents. it was a kodak moment. just thought id share the love.
wahab"from the future"algarmi
p.s.
if you call remember the time diff. 1;40 in the afternoon here=3;40 in the morning cali time! the future for real, im
half way done with saturday and you are all in bed! amazing!
7 Questions
1.When do we get to see pictures of her and the wedding?
just the other day i told her i had sent images of her to my friends. she
snapped because the only picture ive taken of her was the day of the "agd". she said it was sinful to show people pictures
of her with her hair showing and wearing makeup. i Quickly told her i was kidding and dropped the subject. as for when everyone
else gets to see her, i guess when i get a chance to take her picture and her being okay with me sending.... trust me itll
be sooner than later.
2.When are they coming back to the states?
I am coming back soon hopefully. the family wants me to stay (they always
want us to stay longer than we can) but this time there is merit to their argument. i should stay and process paper work for
my wife to enter the states, and the honeymoon here isnt called the the month of honey for nothing. thats right, a month of
honey.... but no,before i came to yemen i made the decission to come early so i could return in time for a group show at the
legion of honor. as a painter this is the highest honor ive ever gotten and almost pissed my pants when i was told to be a
part of it. there is no way the painter in me can pass this up. i already told the missus this and even though she isnt happy
she kind of understands. the legion show is in late sep. early oct. and then im part of another show for dia de los muertos
(day of the dead) i was a part of the same show last year and had a positive experience and am more than happy to do it again.thats
in late oct. just long enough for me to stick around rock the vote then get my ass back here in the middle east and figure
out our next move.
3.Since their marriage was pre-arranged is when they start their
family going to be arranged too?
im sure everyone will want to see some little wahabs runnin around but
im still freaking out over the marriage. we (the mrs. and i) talked breifly twice on the subject,its something we need to
really talk about. the family can push and poke as much as they like but there is no way for them to get into our bed matters.
i dont want any happy accidents, but im not really sure what the custom or religion says about condoms or birth control. i
know my own mother had her tubes tied, but my folks are (hold on to your hats for this one) more liberal and open minded than
others. my wife seems more religious than im used to. if we end up with a kid its the will of god to her. but ive made it
clear to her that shes young and id like her to go to school. she was more than happy to hear that. im just scared if a kid
comes she end up a house wife.
4.So what did he base his decision to marry her on? One day I was
reading that he was confused and the next day he was married.
tough question...im still confused and scared and happy and all of
the above. it really wasnt my decsion,they(my fam) just kind of kept poking me until i snapped. i go back and read all the
letters ive sent to joe and really, i was crazy. i hope those days are finally behind me. it really has been a long year which
isnt even over yet. before i came out here my father came, before he came he asked if it was alright for him to look for a
bride. let me just say, my wife had way more knowledge of me and say so in the marriage. my father told me about the girl
after everything was pretty much done. i really didnt like the way he went about things... but there was always still the
feeling of wonder. i did come all the way out here to see her. when my dad asked about coming out here to look for my wife
i had to think about it for a while. what were the pros and cons. i am religious, not to a fault. i know some of the trappings.
i didnt grow up religious, i found religion later. but i do want to learn more, she can help me, not only with that, but i
cant read my own language, my familys culture. these are the pros, the cons are what keep me up at night and made me hesitate
in marrying her.like language, age, culture. no matter what i wrote before there was always a feeling of what if.... now i
guess i get to think, what if i didnt...
5.How is the age difference affecting them?(19 & 26) Do they have
a lot in common?
its one of the cons to me. in yemeni society people WANT younger brides.
2 of my grandmothers died old and alone. i dont wish that on anyone. its something i think a lot about. as for the here and
now,just by living in the states ive had more experience with women... shes never dated and im the only guy she knows. ive
never felt a womens heart beat as hard as hers for me. i keep asking her what about me drives her crazy and she cant answer.
ive never been the ladies man and couldnt tell you if ive been in love before or had crushes. but this does feel way better
than anything ive felt. it also scares me (im pouring it all out for you people) because ive always been a loner. i love my
friends and always ask about them, but as far as my problems go, i really dont like bugging people. now i have this partner,
shes wet behind the ears. shes someones daughter, someones little sister, someones baby girl. im terrified of leaving her
alone.i have a little sister and she means the world to me, if someone did her wrong... i see my wife and i feel like there
is so much i have to show her, i want to look at it like a blessing but for now it feels like a burden. as for stuff in common,
we come from two different worlds even if we were both from the same culture. i think some thingswe are just going to have
to learn to accept. we already found out we cant talk politics, and im a liberal!
6.I remember in one of his
emails he said that his wife said that she loved him at the end of one of their phone conversations and he said that he couldn't
say it back. So how does his wife respond to that?
this one is getting easier by the day, i tell her romantic stuff but i
feel like part of me is leading her on. she is a womanand has her own mind. who doesnt like being romanced. i know i do. if
she falls hard for me while it tyakes me time to fall for her, im not sure what i can say. there is a physical attraction
im happy to say, for both of us, but like i said before,shes never been with a guy. even though i couldnt say i love you right
away, she didnt seem to worry about it. it takes her just as long to say it. she is still very shy about the whole thing.
right now shes in the village for three more days. we talk every night. last night, we talked for hours and didnt want to
hang up, about what? i have no idea. she also called me in the morning. the closer i get to my half of the wedding the more
i want to see her. things are getting easier... i just have that lingering feeling...is it love or lust?
7. Have you had sex with her yet?
wow, you arent going to leave me anything are you... shed probably
get mad if she knew i were answering this but what the hell. no we havent. like i said, the wedding isnt over yet and there
is no way i have the balls to just try and take her while she was at her dads house with his big ass picture in the room smirking
at me. i want to be with her and she with me, we just have to wait a little longer i guess...
thanks for your questions, seriously, this helps me get through a lot.
time to reflect and all that jazz. everything is peachy and getting better. i guess my only concern is what the future holds
for me and my wife.
Entry 13-
wow, i guess i was wrong about not much to say. yesterday my family came
up(most of them) and the cattle was delivered. yes i said cattle. my uncles bought 5 bulls and 23 sheep for the wedding. what
the fuck. its really starting to sink in. the more i hear and see about the wedding the more i dont want it (the wedding not
the woman) i think my family has invited over 400 people... i dont even know that many people! chewing has started at my house
already. for those not in the know.
yemen is an agricultural country with its main crop being qat. sounds just like slang
for a gun. qat is a mild stimulant(?) that you chew constantly to get high with. the people here chew from after lunch till
about sunset. ive tried it, dont like it and have to chew during my wedding.like i said the more i see the less i want. three
more days and ill be sharing my bed with someone( besides anthony) for the first time in years. maha and i are doing good.
i havent seen her in almost a week. we both miss each other and i know im sick already of this wedding stuff.so lord knows
how she must feel being in it already. ive never been one for big blown out events. my family is going ape shit since we are
american and think we can afford to do something like this. its really all a big fucking show. "marla, you tourist!" fuck,
im quoting fight club... its time to go.
wahab"cornelius"algarmi
Entry 14-
no update is right! ive been busy as hell and my local cafe has ben down.
we are guests every day. things are going great between us. my wife says hello im showing her some stuff online. i didnt mean
to keep peeps in the dark. the wedding was crazy, i need a whole day to write about that. the honeymon is getting shorter
n shorter. i need to be back soon and i cant bring her back till after 6 months... damn. we are going to be in mallah for
the next week or so. her fam, invited us as guests, we cant refuse very well, it would be rude and my wife is very proper...
damn. we are doing good so far she misses me and i havent even left yet. she makes me feel guilty but i know im going back
for a very good reason, at least to me. she tries to understand and is more supportive than my mom and dad, which is good.
she looks bored as hell so im going to cut it here. but i want you all to know ill write soon as i can especially about the
iris. and i havent forgotten you guys at all. thanks for all the support i really needed it, and still do. i cant wait for
you to meet her.
wahab" busy, but not busy enough where i wont answer my friends" algarmi
Entry 15-
but damn, the wedding (iris) was erie... first off the there are two nights
of partying. the firstnight is called "the eve of henna" henna is the temporary tatoo that shows up red. on that night
we sing dance and then they put henna on my palm and pinky. my uncle tom put it on the wrong hand (my right) i didnt think
much about it though. the rest of the night people made fun of the flute player. the original guy back out because we didnt
pay him enough. at least thats the word on the street. the next day, friday the thirteenth, which one of my uncles kindly
pointed out to me, was "the eve of the big celebration". muslims celebrate friday like christans do sunday. so the day starts
off early. i have to sit outside the house while guests arrive. miday we all go pray then its off to the ballroom for lunch.
seriously, there were over a thousand people there... im going to be in shock for the rest of my life. after lunch i went
home with 2 relative s and a friend of the family. they dressed me in traditional arabian garb. then back to the ballroom.
i made a grand entrance with flute and drum playing behind me. then people chewed in my honor. i didnt have to chew because
i was getting married. they feed me raisins and almonds to "strengthen my knees" even my wife laughed at that one. i
sat for 6 hours straight. that was when my uncle pointed out the date... i still didnt trip too hard, but i did start to get
nervous a bit. the only thing left was (hanag) and the (zafa) during the hanag, several guests leave to caravan my wife from
her house to mine. the hanag, thats the part of the evening where all the guests give me money, im not sure how much it was
but it was a shit load. they read the list of names and how much wasgiven. that was around 10:30 pm. then the zafa. where
they escort me to my house. first we caravaned to my street then they aing and hold hands with me to the door. let me pause
here. i dont believe in omens but after all the little things,it added up and the last one is a big one, which they really
didnt need to tell me. before, when i made my grand re entrance to the ballroom, a crazy man approached telling me to kiss
him on the forehead telling me he was my uncle salah... i aint never seen dude in my life. it was my wifes uncle and she warned
me about him before hand. i kissed hinm on the head and moved on.side note, i barely know him and already, i have stories
about him other than this one. anyway back to the zafa. he grabs my arm from the minute we leave the ballroom, then in a moment
of stupidity, tells me my neighbor passed away that same night. belief in the stars or karma or whatever joe is always talking
about, that was it. i was nervous like you wouldent believe. i really didnt want the zafa after hearing that but only a hand
full of people knew the sad news. the custom here is, death happens dont let it disturb the wedding. my american ass just
felt stupid. micraphones blaring people dancing and 2 doors down my neighbor passed away of cancer. anyway, so far we are
living happily, i dont know about ever after but we seem to be working our way there. that night wasnt exactly what i was
expecting. when i got in the house my mom, aunt, sister were waiting then they locked me in with my wife. she was waiting
on the bed sitting, scared to death but happy to see me. after that we talked and sat around. i showed her the half of the
house we were in. she was made up all crazy looking. big brides dress, she showed me some pics of her fam. we relaxed
and the rest is between us... the next day, i didnt know this, several guests arrived for lunch where i hade to meet and greet.
my grandpa is way old school. he wanted me up early to say hello to everyone and personal go to my inlaws and invite them
for lunch. i slept not at all the night before. his ass got on my nerves. he was more worried about being a good host. i was
worried about getting rest. anyway i went to the inlaws, i like them by the way, british english is funny to no end. her dad
keeps telling me how im costing people a lot of money. hes just as big a shit talker as me. after that everyday guest s come
over and her crazy uncle made us go to his house as guests\. he lives in the village(mallah) once he invited us it opened
a flood gate. seriously i was guest of honor at peoples houses and i didnt even know them! our mallah trip is for another
day though. till soon, see you next time?
wahab"brown skinned ny now"algarmi
Entry 16-
well, like i said findin a scanner is hard, and typing is a bitch too.
ill
try to hit highlights. the animal pics were all lunch for the final day of
the wedding. the old guy who looks
like hes screaming is my uncle toms brother and a poet. he wrote the poem on my invitation and in the pic, hes singing another
poem.the pic where im talkin, im explainin to my "uncle" saylan that my uncle tom put the henna on my wrong hand. the other
night pic with a bunch of folks in a line singing has my uncle tom smack dab center. hes the one with the big nose... the
day pics are the morning of the "big eve" the pic with all the boys are most of my male cousins. one of the outside dancing
pics has a bit of my front door. its the one that has the oriental looking roof to the right of the pic and in that same pic
are the light bulbs they string up for the duration of the wedding. ill try to send more pics and better ones of the ballroom
and the zafa. hope you are all well take care.
wahab" picture pages" algarmi
Entry 17-
wow, sorry its been awhile. finally got some time alone... and not just
from the wife. ive been busy with her yeah, but ive also been busy with trying to get my ass back stateside. my wife and i
havent even gotten our marriage certificate yet. i want to bring her so that means a bunch of hookey shit for the u.s. embassy.
plus, since my dad shipped an american car out here there arent many places that carry parts, so my uncle tom and i are going
over everything so i can bring parts back with me. then there are the constant guests... its not llike over there, where everyone
is chillin poolside. women take over my home from 4 to 6 pm. that dont sound like a lot but my wife has to dress up and put
on full make up. im not a fan of makeup. if heavily applied it makes any woman look like a cheap whore. the style of
makeup
over here falls into cheap whore catagory...my wife dont like it either but i guess its the custom. i wish all the guests
would leave us alone, i dont have a lot of time here, i plan to be back in 2 weeks at most.as far as everything else goes
me and the missus are good. she has a lot more to deal with than me. her folks are older than mineand sick. her pops has had
2 strokes and doesnt get around as well anymore. just last nightwew found out her mom has 4 kidney stones. not bad, but shes
already had 2 operations to remove14 stones! they didnt tell us until later and maha started crying. i got mad, i told them
just becausse she lives with me now,that doesnt make her a stranger. she still needs to know whats going on or she will never
be fully comfortable with me. i seriously wanted to yell at her folks, instead i just laid a guilt trip on um...our trip to
the village was ok. flies all over the place, no toilet, and sewage in the street, to qoute joe "that's grimy bro" yeah and
even though thats where she
lived most her life it seemed like i was more used to it than her. my
grandpas house is
old hers has a toilet and she lives on the main road, way less flies and no sewage... whatever. four days of feasts in my
honor. same meal every day though. i drove home at night my wife, mom, sis, uncle tom and his fam in the car. 2 and a half
hour drive. that sounds like no big deal but imagine highway 4 (right?) one lane either way, no street lamps mopst fucking
dangerous thing ive ever done. im getting chills just thinking about it. my dad was surprised that i drove. i wnated to learn
with my uncle tom by my side. he showed me a few pointers that were helpful. when i get back here he wont be around as often.
his kids are on summer break now, but go back just like in america. dont know what else to say except "see most of you soon"
before i skip out though i want to say thank god sherwin is okay. foolios car flipped over but hes okay...im gonna start calling
you super dave! take care of yourselves andill let you know whats what as soon as i can.
wahab""algarmi
Entry 18-
well, sign, sealed and delievered. im back... i dont really know what to
say. i feel way wierd and dont have a clue what the future brings... not that i knew before, i just never cared. thanks to
everyone who wrote and offered advice and support. from here ill be in town till about november.
the wifey is back in the middle east sittin pretty till i get back. then
from there ill forward her documents for a visa. then back here late next year. in the mean time we hope to hit up egypt
which is just a hop skip and a jump from yemen. on our way back to the states we hope to stop by and visit her bros. in liverpool
england. i dont know what the future holds but i bet its interesting.
wahab"hope to see you all while im in town" algarmi
p.s. a couple people have asked, no kids on the way yet... i love the rug
rats but not tryin to have them just yet. but when i do!!!!!!!!
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Entry 1-
well, im here. I know you all want to know how hot this girl
is but i haven't met her and probably wont for a while. Im really fighting an up hill battle as far as the wedding goes. my
grandpa wanted to take me on the third day and finish all the buisness with the girl's father. i feel like im in the toughest
after school special ever. peer pressure is a muther fucker. ill let you all know whats what when i know. pardon on all the
typos but this board sucks. take care and ill write soon.
wahab"from the future" algarmi
Entry 2-
hey guys, thanks for the letters, if people ask about me
feel free to forward these e mails to whoever cares. yesterday i had lunch with the president of yemen... im not kidding.
I have a picture and if i can get the scanner to work ill send you the image. it was part of a seventy three couple wedding
ceremony. the prez paid for a bunch of the poorer people that work for him to get married. 2 of the grooms happened to be
neighbors of mine and we got invited to the gigantic lunch/ceremony.
wahab"hangin with the prez"algarmi
Entry 3-
well, officaly , i've been here a week and just by
the fact that im keeping track, you should be able to tell, im not having fun. the trip gets getting tougher and tougher.
I found out my family here all expected me to just get married , period. i feel like my parents bith tricked me somehow...
when i told some of my aunts that i wanted to see the girl before i get married they just laughed. wow. most of you probably
have ever seen me really serious... after a few tries it finally sunk into them that i was serious about meeting her first.
most importantly i got that message through to my grandfather who is leaving for the village tomorrow (thank god) he said
its my decison and is happy with whatever i do... you should all know that is a load of shit because he's old and old people
want their way. (joe, i hate old folks) then theres the fact that the whole fucking middle east knows my business! fucking
a! i might have to slug the next person that asks me when my wedding is. i thought it was annoying in the states, its 100
times worse here! anyway im trying to stay together and enjoy my time with my cousins while i can. thats really become a focus
of the trip. i'm still waiting to meet this girl with the chance i might actually like her. but how reallistic that is, is
beyond me... im really starting to wonder why i come back here if not for my family, and after this trip they may never want
to see me again....
wahab" losin more hair" algarmi
Entry 4-
yesterday was tough...remember the crack about peer pressure,
well yesterday i got a shit load of it. the people that my father put in charge of helping me get married are my aunt from
my dads side and
her husband who i respect and love more than anyone here.(they named their last kid after me) them, my
other aunt (dads side), mom, step grandmom (dads side) sat me down and had a heart to heart. or a, lets see how far we can
push this guy before he jumps off the bridge himself, session. it was like a half hour of what hell must be like, seriously
my head still hurts. they werent yelling at me, it was the exact opposet, they were telling me how much they loved me and
only wanted the best for me and they would never do... yada yada yada. it made me so fucking sick. if i were a coward i would
have blown my own brain out by now. they kept telling me the only way i was going to see this girl is to take the next
step in the marriage. no fucking way. if thats the only way for me to get to know her, fuck it i dont need the horseshit.
i really am sick of being here and i havent even been to the village yet... thats another disaster waiting to happen. if it
feels like everyone here knows my buiz, there, everyone really does know my buiz! the sad part is i dont know what my alternative
to marriage here is. my family wont let me have any kind of relationship with someone in the states and that hurts, ive let
go of far too many great women in the past. i feel like im being forced to choose between family, culture, religion, a love
life, and my own sanity... i know im going on and on and im only sending this to you...you dont even have to respond to this
i just needed to rant to someone i know is reading and cares. thanks for reading and i hope i still have some piece of sanity
when i get back.
wahabalgarmi
Entry 5-
well, i think im officially crazy. im starting to see
i dont really have a choice one way or another in this decision. my family is like a team of jack hammers tearing away at
me.they dont understand "no" as an answer. i tried to come here with an open mind and see if i can learn to love this girl.
ifeel cheated by my father as if he just kept lying and pushing till i trusted him and next thing i knew hes dangling me over
this edge. whenever i go out with friends, they always ask "whens the wedding" all i can answer to that is "soon, god willing"
my sister even gets that question... ive started to have dreams about different things too. not waking dreams, but wierd dreams
i can remember over time. the other day i dreamt about the girl im supposed to marry... she turned out to look like a young
skinny indian boy... we were on a wooden raft like huck finn style.... i know i know it sounds really fucking gay and creepy.
needless to say i woke up in a cold sweat that day. besides that, there is the fact that i came here to see this girl and
that has yet to happen.thats making me go mad as well. i want to know if shes hot or not damn it! i have a new plan on that...
i cant trust my family, or can i?... i told my sister to infeltrate and report back to me asap. i still have some kind of
positive outlook here it just seems like that positive outlook ends with me being married to some chick i dont know. on the
plus side of that, i can finally go back to being me... happy and go lucky. the past few years have slowly torn me down. i
dont feel or look like i used to... i hate that fact. losing weight was great to a certain extent, but i wonder how much of
that is due to lack of sleep and worry, and how much of it was really jogging and dancing. sometimes i jog because i felt
i had to. im ranting i know, i know, but damn it i think im entitled rigt now. the thing that looms over my head every day
more than anything is what my relationship with my father is going to be like now. we were always cool until the marriage
came up, then i started spending way more time outside the house. doing whatever.(thanks for putting up with me alex) now
i dont know if i even want to see the man again. married or not. i dont know if i can ever really trust him again. thats a
sad thng to say about your own father. the part of me that came here to see my family and have fun is almost all spent.
the family i like, ive seen, the family thats left, im not really trying to make an effort to go see. my cousins husband called
me out on that today too, he asked why i was being antisocial. have any of you ever known me to be that? i hate feeling the
way i do these days.i cant even get out the house by myself to take a walk. for the first time my uncle tom (or bruce wayne
as i like to call him) is a pain in the ass, he insists on taking me wherever i want to go. it was never like that before.
i want to get lost sometimes and take a walk but he wont take no for an answer, i swear if i go on one more day trip to an
amuesment park with the kids, imma snap... if i havent already... i dont know what else to say for now... i really am not
having fun these days and that is so unlike me it makes me sick. i really am close to saying fuck it and just going through
with it. my new friend shelly i think put it best... it was something along the lines of, well this could be the first in
the line of a bunch of reall great marriages... now that really would be american of me...
wahab"wish you were here" algarmi
p.s.
i mean "wish I WERE THERE"
Entry 6-
well, im up to my eyeballs in bullshit, the wedding
keeps rolling on wether i want it to or not. the good news is ill finally get to meet the girl. right around the end of sd con. which, by the way, i want a full report on. other than that, ive taken up swimming at the local gentalmans
club. im pretty good. i guess its like riding a bike ... once you learn. it helps that i have a teacher whos payment is to
learn english in exchange. cool. anyway, im mostly a vegtable these days just kind of gliding thjrough the days. since my
family wouldnt take no for an answer im actually trying to look forward to seeing this girl... my sister reported back and
it seems ok. she wouldnt tell me about the important stuff, like breast size and ass shape... she said that was rude and gross.
of course i was only kidding with her... anyway, full report on the con, and ill let you guys know whats going on here....
wahab"what the hell am i doin?" algarmi
Entry 7-'I got married on a Monday morning.....'
before i go any further let me explain how marriage
here works.
first is the "khutba" or engagment, which already happened without my knowledge while i was still state side.
second
is the "agd" or the i dos between me and the girls father, which happened today and officially makes here my wife...
third
is the "iris" or wedding party, which can last up to a week.
im betting a few a you are reading this and thinking "well
have you seen her yet?" yes, i have. shes pretty. granted the poor thing had a lot of make up caked on. shes 19 years old
with a birthday in october. neither one of us slept sunday night. my stomach was killing me from lunch that day and
my nerves were shot to shit. but you know me, i made the best of the situation and made myself at home... she had to tell
me to sit up because i was making here uncomfortable. we sat alone for as long as i could get with her which was about 2 to
3 hours. i played rock paper scisors with her jabbed her in the ribs with my finger made her jump, and constant farting noises
from my mouth whenever i couldnt think of anything else to say. i have no idea what ive gotten myself into this time... she
seems okay, im still not sure if shes going to take well to the american life style but oh well i guess i get to that when
WE get to that. funy how i gotta think in those terms now.
the agd went well, i didnt
hurl or freak out or anything like that. her dad is pretty cool. hellsa old and sick too. we (my family and i ) brought the
preacher to his house where my father in law constantly made fun of him for not looking like a preacher but more like a con
artist. the preacher read some words as we held each others hands and repeated. i didnt sweat or freak or any of that. i dont
know how i remained cool as a cucumber, but i did. after that they other guests threw raisins and almonds on me... dont ask.
after a few minutes of signing my single life away, everyone left the room and the girl's... maha's mom came in i said hello
(still not knowing her moms name) gave her some money (tradition calls for 20,000 rials... thats 184.7 rials to every dollar).
she said thank you and then sent her daughter in. at this point i could only imagine myself as a movie character waiting for
his bashful prom date to come down the steps. palms sweety as ever, i greeted maha with a... i cant remember. the next 2 hours
are a blur. i hit her with every question i could think of. we did have a few awkward silences, but im king cracking ice so
i did. by the end of our short time together we were doing pretty good. then my sister showed up. the women at my house sent
her to take pictures of the newlyweds. me and my sister were going off at the mouth. (for those of you that know my sister
you know i taught her well in the ways of being annoying) i asked my sister if she knew the name of my mother in law, in english
of course, and she didnt know either.
this ones getin long im gonna cut it here for now... as far as how i feel, its not
100% great and its definetly not somber as last week... but its still not the end of this story.
wahab"whish i knew how
to feel abou tall this but i dont" algarmi
p.s. let me know how the con was ...and surges sorry pool skills...
Entry 8-
well here we go with round 2. first let me explain
a little bit more about how the wedding works. i havent spent the night with her yet. that happens on the last night of the
"iris" which, hopefully is only going to be 2 nights, instead of the village average of a week! so far all i got is 2 hours
or so with her. i wanted to go see her today but my uncle told me to wait till tomorrow... i swear it almost feels like dating
someone new and im not calling just to make her more anxious (a habit i never practiced by the way. also id like to say happy
birthday to sherwin. i cant tell if i got married on his birthday or the day after. im in the future yo!
we left off with
me and my sister talking smack in english about my wifes mom. my wife wanted to take pictures and i told her it was a bad
idea, we werent comfortable with each other yet. she insisted and i put my arm around her and she freaked out. me and my sister
started to laugh. we took a few pics and my sister split. as soon as she did my wife turned to me and said (in arabic) "so,
you dont know my moms name?"...after removing my foot from my mouth, something im used to, as you all know, we went back to
small talk. seriously its just like dating with higher stakes at the table.after awhile she split for prayer and guests were
coming for lunch. i prayed and ate a meal on my behalf with a bunch of fools ive never met.its really wierd to me that my
folks thought id be down with all this. after lunch we all left and i went home. giuests tried to get me to go to someone
elses house to go chew. (most of you should know what im talking about) but i wanted to go home and play uno with my cousins...
im a grown married man playing uno...after awhile i drove the women in my house back to my in laws place where i was greeted
by little kids chanting my name like i wa s a prize fighter. that felt pretty fucking good and has to be one of the small
highlights of the trip, seriously, better than having lunch with the president. so i drop my family off and bolt. its the
first time i was alone the whole trip. granted my sister tagged along but thats okay with me. we drove around for awhile and
went home. thats about all for thje agd. ill let you all know the next time i see her or what not take care and take it easy,
if not for your sake then for mine.
wahab"less stress, but one hell of a mess none the less" algarmi
Entry 9-
well, i got to see the wifey again. we talked about
random shit... sopmething im good at. my sleeping is getting better. she says she still cant sleep, wghen i asked her why,
she said she was worried i was blowing smoke up her ass. like once i had her in bed or in america im going to turn into some
kind of monster... she obviously dont know me yet. im an angel... hey, stop laughing. to answer questions, i havent sent any
photos at all, because i cant find a scanner that works, second i di havent developed mahas photo yet. but i did get a better
look at her tyhis time around (no make up) i would describe her as lustry. like old school catwoman. i know im into
sturdy, but we'll see how far i can go with lustry. in other news, leave it to me to stumble across probably the only screenprint
supply shop in sanna (the capitol of yemen) i seriously walked by, stopped, reversed and and walked in. (joe knows how i do
it after walking around with me for 2 weeks straight). no, im not going to print while i mhere but it sure felt good just
to see that stuff. i dont know when my wedding is but it seems like my family isnt going to let me get away with something
small. of course you know more, when i do... which is usually after the fact. by the by if you havent checked it out, joes
website has been keeping up with all my blow by blows, as well hes opened up his online photogallery/shop. check it out at
joegoestonewyork.tripod.com hes really talented and only getting better. i hope to find a scanner soon.
wahab" heading
for a heart attack" algarmi
Entry 10-
okay, it was a pain in the ass, but i finally found
a scanner. the big group picture has the prez to the top right wearing the swanky hat. the photo in the living room isof my
wedding day (agd) my father in law to the left, my uncle tom with his back to us, and me on the right looking calm and
collect. the last photo is your basic fish out of water pic... anyway, the other day i meant to write sultry. my wife has
a sultry look about her. she scares me. today i took the 2000 gmc yukon to her house, we had a lovely morning, i left before
lunch, went to the olympic sized pool swam a few laps and then i snapped. it wasnt the first time, but it was the first time
i was fully aware that i freaked out... what am i talking about? im fucking married! i wasnt dreaming, im lucky i didnt drown
in that pool. im cool but i realize my sleep cycle is starting to fuck up again. all i thoink about is what the hell am i
gonna do with this girl! its notas bad as it sounds but after havin a nice day for the first time in i dont know how long,
looking over my shoulder for the karma to take a swing at me wasnt as stupid an idea as it sounds.if this what being happy
is like... i aint used to it yet. definetly better than before though.
wahab" freaking out for a whole new reason" algarmi
well, the other day i finally made it down to the village (mallah) yesterday.
the wedding is almost here, aug.13 or 14, im not really too sure. a lot of people came up from the village but there weere
a lot of people i havent seen. my uncle needed to go down to the village for a wedding in his family. i took the opportunity
to go down with him and say hello to my step grandma and remaining aunties and uncle. my wifey is there for her half of the
wedding which should already be taking place as we speak. everyone was making fun of me saying i was following her down there.
i didnt even get to see her. she knew i was there though, its hard to miss my ride. not too many people have american cars
here. my dad shipped a gmc yukon out to the middle east. ive never been a big car person, but i gotta say, there is something
about everyone staring at my ride, that i find kinda cool. anyway, i said hello to my aunties, one ive never met, the other
is sick and the last never gets to go anywhere. i also said hello to granny and the remainder of my cousins who are growing
up to be fine young men... shit, i thought they were gonna end up in jail, their sister on the other hand ...we got to the
village before noon and were home before sunset. in and out like ninjas. it was a good day trip. other than that this next
week is gonna be crazy the wedding is getting out of hand, even my wife is getting carried away, which doesnt matter
to me since its all on her and mine is on me... the one thing i insisted on is my old roomate AJ, to sing at my wedding. i
asked him today" aj, my family and i would be honored if you sang at my wedding" his reply, "boy , way to put the pressure
on" but yes he will do it. for those of you whop dont know hes had 3 well recieved albums where he raps in english and
arabic. he also has a regga side kick that performed with him on several tracks on the second and third album. as far as the
wifey goes... we are doing okay. im enjoying everything with her , but i also feel like im being extra careful not to fuck
anything up. shes only been gone less than a week and she already misses me. thats sweet but man do i know what to say to
that? the obvious answer is, i miss you too, boo. but i just couldnt say it, or i love you. i try, but there must be an emergency
brake system in my throat or something. i guess with time ill get over all that(i hope) take care and ill let you all know
what the wedding is like ijn a week. if anything else comes up ill write before then. see you all soon.
wahab"wedding bells
toll for thee!" algarmi
7 Questions
1.When do we get to see pictures of her and the wedding?
just the other day i told her i had sent images of her to
my friends. she snapped because the only picture ive taken of her was the day of the "agd". she said it was sinful to show
people pictures of her with her hair showing and wearing makeup. i Quickly told her i was kidding and dropped the subject.
as for when everyone else gets to see her, i guess when i get a chance to take her picture and her being okay with me sending....
trust me itll be sooner than later.
2.When are they coming back to the states?
I am coming back soon hopefully. the family wants me to stay
(they always want us to stay longer than we can) but this time there is merit to their argument. i should stay and process
paper work for my wife to enter the states, and the honeymoon here isnt called the the month of honey for nothing. thats right,
a month of honey.... but no,before i came to yemen i made the decission to come early so i could return in time for a group
show at the legion of honor. as a painter this is the highest honor ive ever gotten and almost pissed my pants when i was
told to be a part of it. there is no way the painter in me can pass this up. i already told the missus this and even though
she isnt happy she kind of understands. the legion show is in late sep. early oct. and then im part of another show for dia
de los muertos (day of the dead) i was a part of the same show last year and had a positive experience and am more than happy
to do it again.thats in late oct. just long enough for me to stick around rock the vote then get my ass back here in the middle
east and figure out our next move.
3.Since their marriage was pre-arranged is when they
start their family going to be arranged too?
im sure everyone will want to see some little wahabs runnin
around but im still freaking out over the marriage. we (the mrs. and i) talked breifly twice on the subject,its something
we need to really talk about. the family can push and poke as much as they like but there is no way for them to get into our
bed matters. i dont want any happy accidents, but im not really sure what the custom or religion says about condoms or birth
control. i know my own mother had her tubes tied, but my folks are (hold on to your hats for this one) more liberal and open
minded than others. my wife seems more religious than im used to. if we end up with a kid its the will of god to her. but
ive made it clear to her that shes young and id like her to go to school. she was more than happy to hear that. im just scared
if a kid comes she end up a house wife.
4.So what did he base his decision to marry her on?
One day I was reading that he was confused and the next day he was married.
tough question...im still confused and scared and
happy and all of the above. it really wasnt my decsion,they(my fam) just kind of kept poking me until i snapped. i go back
and read all the letters ive sent to joe and really, i was crazy. i hope those days are finally behind me. it really has been
a long year which isnt even over yet. before i came out here my father came, before he came he asked if it was alright for
him to look for a bride. let me just say, my wife had way more knowledge of me and say so in the marriage. my father told
me about the girl after everything was pretty much done. i really didnt like the way he went about things... but there was
always still the feeling of wonder. i did come all the way out here to see her. when my dad asked about coming out here to
look for my wife i had to think about it for a while. what were the pros and cons. i am religious, not to a fault. i know
some of the trappings. i didnt grow up religious, i found religion later. but i do want to learn more, she can help me, not
only with that, but i cant read my own language, my familys culture. these are the pros, the cons are what keep me up at night
and made me hesitate in marrying her.like language, age, culture. no matter what i wrote before there was always a feeling
of what if.... now i guess i get to think, what if i didnt...
5.How is the age difference affecting them?(19
& 26) Do they have a lot in common?
its one of the cons to me. in yemeni society people
WANT younger brides. 2 of my grandmothers died old and alone. i dont wish that on anyone. its something i think a lot about.
as for the here and now,just by living in the states ive had more experience with women... shes never dated and im the only
guy she knows. ive never felt a womens heart beat as hard as hers for me. i keep asking her what about me drives her crazy
and she cant answer. ive never been the ladies man and couldnt tell you if ive been in love before or had crushes. but this
does feel way better than anything ive felt. it also scares me (im pouring it all out for you people) because ive always been
a loner. i love my friends and always ask about them, but as far as my problems go, i really dont like bugging people. now
i have this partner, shes wet behind the ears. shes someones daughter, someones little sister, someones baby girl. im terrified
of leaving her alone.i have a little sister and she means the world to me, if someone did her wrong... i see my wife and i
feel like there is so much i have to show her, i want to look at it like a blessing but for now it feels like a burden. as
for stuff in common, we come from two different worlds even if we were both from the same culture. i think some thingswe are
just going to have to learn to accept. we already found out we cant talk politics, and im a liberal!
6.I remember
in one of his emails he said that his wife said that she loved him at the end of one of their phone conversations and he said
that he couldn't say it back. So how does his wife respond to that?
this one is getting easier by the day, i tell her romantic
stuff but i feel like part of me is leading her on. she is a womanand has her own mind. who doesnt like being romanced. i
know i do. if she falls hard for me while it tyakes me time to fall for her, im not sure what i can say. there is a physical
attraction im happy to say, for both of us, but like i said before,shes never been with a guy. even though i couldnt say i
love you right away, she didnt seem to worry about it. it takes her just as long to say it. she is still very shy about the
whole thing. right now shes in the village for three more days. we talk every night. last night, we talked for hours and didnt
want to hang up, about what? i have no idea. she also called me in the morning. the closer i get to my half of the wedding
the more i want to see her. things are getting easier... i just have that lingering feeling...is it love or lust?
7. Have you had sex with her yet?
wow, you arent going to leave me anything are you...
shed probably get mad if she knew i were answering this but what the hell. no we havent. like i said, the wedding isnt over
yet and there is no way i have the balls to just try and take her while she was at her dads house with his big ass picture
in the room smirking at me. i want to be with her and she with me, we just have to wait a little longer i guess...
thanks for your questions, seriously, this helps me
get through a lot. time to reflect and all that jazz. everything is peachy and getting better. i guess my only concern is
what the future holds for me and my wife. but damn, the wedding (iris) was erie... first off the there are two nights
of partying. the firstnight is called "the eve of henna" henna is the temporary tatoo that shows up red. on that night
we sing dance and then they put henna on my palm and pinky. my uncle tom put it on the wrong hand (my right) i didnt think
much about it though. the rest of the night people made fun of the flute player. the original guy back out because we didnt
pay him enough. at least thats the word on the street. the next day, friday the thirteenth, which one of my uncles kindly
pointed out to me, was "the eve of the big celebration". muslims celebrate friday like christans do sunday. so the day starts
off early. i have to sit outside the house while guests arrive. miday we all go pray then its off to the ballroom for lunch.
seriously, there were over a thousand people there... im going to be in shock for the rest of my life. after lunch i went
home with 2 relative s and a friend of the family. they dressed me in traditional arabian garb. then back to the ballroom.
i made a grand entrance with flute and drum playing behind me. then people chewed in my honor. i didnt have to chew because
i was getting married. they feed me raisins and almonds to "strengthen my knees" even my wife laughed at that one. i
sat for 6 hours straight. that was when my uncle pointed out the date... i still didnt trip too hard, but i did start to get
nervous a bit. the only thing left was (hanag) and the (zafa) during the hanag, several guests leave to caravan my wife from
her house to mine. the hanag, thats the part of the evening where all the guests give me money, im not sure how much it was
but it was a shit load. they read the list of names and how much wasgiven. that was around 10:30 pm. then the zafa. where
they escort me to my house. first we caravaned to my street then they aing and hold hands with me to the door. let me pause
here. i dont believe in omens but after all the little things,it added up and the last one is a big one, which they really
didnt need to tell me. before, when i made my grand re entrance to the ballroom, a crazy man approached telling me to kiss
him on the forehead telling me he was my uncle salah... i aint never seen dude in my life. it was my wifes uncle and she warned
me about him before hand. i kissed hinm on the head and moved on.side note, i barely know him and already, i have stories
about him other than this one. anyway back to the zafa. he grabs my arm from the minute we leave the ballroom, then in a moment
of stupidity, tells me my neighbor passed away that same night. belief in the stars or karma or whatever joe is always talking
about, that was it. i was nervous like you wouldent believe. i really didnt want the zafa after hearing that but only a hand
full of people knew the sad news. the custom here is, death happens dont let it disturb the wedding. my american ass just
felt stupid. micraphones blaring people dancing and 2 doors down my neighbor passed away of cancer. anyway, so far we are
living happily, i dont know about ever after but we seem to be working our way there. that night wasnt exactly what i was
expecting. when i got in the house my mom, aunt, sister were waiting then they locked me in with my wife. she was waiting
on the bed sitting, scared to death but happy to see me. after that we talked and sat around. i showed her the half of the
house we were in. she was made up all crazy looking. big brides dress, she showed me some pics of her fam. we relaxed
and the rest is between us... the next day, i didnt know this, several guests arrived for lunch where i hade to meet and greet.
my grandpa is way old school. he wanted me up early to say hello to everyone and personal go to my inlaws and invite them
for lunch. i slept not at all the night before. his ass got on my nerves. he was more worried about being a good host. i was
worried about getting rest. anyway i went to the inlaws, i like them by the way, british english is funny to no end. her dad
keeps telling me how im costing people a lot of money. hes just as big a shit talker as me. after that everyday guest s come
over and her crazy uncle made us go to his house as guests\. he lives in the village(mallah) once he invited us it opened
a flood gate. seriously i was guest of honor at peoples houses and i didnt even know them! our mallah trip is for another
day though. till soon, see you next time?
wahab"brown skinned ny now"algarmi
well, like i said findin a scanner
is hard, and typing is a bitch too. ill
try to hit highlights. the animal pics were all lunch for the final day of
the
wedding. the old guy who looks like hes screaming is my uncle toms
brother and a poet. he wrote the poem on my invitation
and in the pic, hes
singing another poem.the pic where im talkin, im explainin to my "uncle"
saylan that my uncle
tom put the henna on my wrong hand. the other night pic
with a bunch of folks in a line singing has my uncle tom smack
dab center.
hes the one with the big nose... the day pics are the morning of the "big
eve" the pic with all the boys
are most of my male cousins. one of the
outside dancing pics has a bit of my front door. its the one that has the
oriental
looking roof to the right of the pic and in that same pic are the
light bulbs they string up for the duration of the wedding.
ill try to send
more pics and better ones of the ballroom and the zafa. hope you are all
well take care.
wahab"
picture pages" algarmibut damn, the wedding (iris) was erie... first off the there are two nights of partying.
the firstnight is called "the eve of henna" henna is the temporary tatoo that shows up red. on that night we sing dance
and then they put henna on my palm and pinky. my uncle tom put it on the wrong hand (my right) i didnt think much about it
though. the rest of the night people made fun of the flute player. the original guy back out because we didnt pay him enough.
at least thats the word on the street. the next day, friday the thirteenth, which one of my uncles kindly pointed out to me,
was "the eve of the big celebration". muslims celebrate friday like christans do sunday. so the day starts off early. i have
to sit outside the house while guests arrive. miday we all go pray then its off to the ballroom for lunch. seriously, there
were over a thousand people there... im going to be in shock for the rest of my life. after lunch i went home with 2 relative
s and a friend of the family. they dressed me in traditional arabian garb. then back to the ballroom. i made a grand entrance
with flute and drum playing behind me. then people chewed in my honor. i didnt have to chew because i was getting married.
they feed me raisins and almonds to "strengthen my knees" even my wife laughed at that one. i sat for 6 hours straight.
that was when my uncle pointed out the date... i still didnt trip too hard, but i did start to get nervous a bit. the only
thing left was (hanag) and the (zafa) during the hanag, several guests leave to caravan my wife from her house to mine. the
hanag, thats the part of the evening where all the guests give me money, im not sure how much it was but it was a shit load.
they read the list of names and how much wasgiven. that was around 10:30 pm. then the zafa. where they escort me to my house.
first we caravaned to my street then they aing and hold hands with me to the door. let me pause here. i dont believe in omens
but after all the little things,it added up and the last one is a big one, which they really didnt need to tell me. before,
when i made my grand re entrance to the ballroom, a crazy man approached telling me to kiss him on the forehead telling me
he was my uncle salah... i aint never seen dude in my life. it was my wifes uncle and she warned me about him before hand.
i kissed hinm on the head and moved on.side note, i barely know him and already, i have stories about him other than this
one. anyway back to the zafa. he grabs my arm from the minute we leave the ballroom, then in a moment of stupidity, tells
me my neighbor passed away that same night. belief in the stars or karma or whatever joe is always talking about, that was
it. i was nervous like you wouldent believe. i really didnt want the zafa after hearing that but only a hand full of people
knew the sad news. the custom here is, death happens dont let it disturb the wedding. my american ass just felt stupid. micraphones
blaring people dancing and 2 doors down my neighbor passed away of cancer. anyway, so far we are living happily, i dont know
about ever after but we seem to be working our way there. that night wasnt exactly what i was expecting. when i got in the
house my mom, aunt, sister were waiting then they locked me in with my wife. she was waiting on the bed sitting, scared to
death but happy to see me. after that we talked and sat around. i showed her the half of the house we were in. she was
made up all crazy looking. big brides dress, she showed me some pics of her fam. we relaxed and the rest is between us...
the next day, i didnt know this, several guests arrived for lunch where i hade to meet and greet. my grandpa is way old school.
he wanted me up early to say hello to everyone and personal go to my inlaws and invite them for lunch. i slept not at all
the night before. his ass got on my nerves. he was more worried about being a good host. i was worried about getting rest.
anyway i went to the inlaws, i like them by the way, british english is funny to no end. her dad keeps telling me how im costing
people a lot of money. hes just as big a shit talker as me. after that everyday guest s come over and her crazy uncle made
us go to his house as guests\. he lives in the village(mallah) once he invited us it opened a flood gate. seriously i was
guest of honor at peoples houses and i didnt even know them! our mallah trip is for another day though. till soon, see you
next time?
wahab"brown skinned ny now"algarmiwow, sorry its been awhile. finally got some time alone... and not just from
the wife. ive been busy with her yeah, but ive also been busy with trying to
get my ass back stateside. my wife and
i havent even gotten our marriage
certificate yet. i want to bring her so that means a bunch of hookey shit
for the
u.s. embassy. plus, since my dad shipped an american car out here
there arent many places that carry parts, so my uncle
tom and i are going
over everything so i can bring parts back with me. then there are the
constant guests... its not
llike over there, where everyone is chillin
poolside. women take over my home from 4 to 6 pm. that dont sound like a lot
but my wife has to dress up and put on full make up. im not a fan of makeup.
if heavily applied it makes any woman
look like a cheap whore. the style of
makeup over here falls into cheap whore catagory...my wife dont like it
either
but i guess its the custom. i wish all the guests would leave us
alone, i dont have a lot of time here, i plan to be back
in 2 weeks at
most.as far as everything else goes me and the missus are good. she has a
lot more to deal with than
me. her folks are older than mineand sick. her
pops has had 2 strokes and doesnt get around as well anymore. just last
nightwew found out her mom has 4 kidney stones. not bad, but shes already
had 2 operations to remove14 stones! they
didnt tell us until later and maha
started crying. i got mad, i told them just becausse she lives with me
now,that
doesnt make her a stranger. she still needs to know whats going on
or she will never be fully comfortable with me. i seriously
wanted to yell
at her folks, instead i just laid a guilt trip on um...our trip to the
village was ok. flies all over
the place, no toilet, and sewage in the
street, to qoute joe "that's grimy bro" yeah and even though thats where she
lived
most her life it seemed like i was more used to it than her. my
grandpas house is old hers has a toilet and she lives
on the main road, way
less flies and no sewage... whatever. four days of feasts in my honor. same
meal every day though.
i drove home at night my wife, mom, sis, uncle tom
and his fam in the car. 2 and a half hour drive. that sounds like no
big
deal but imagine highway 4 (right?) one lane either way, no street lamps
mopst fucking dangerous thing ive ever
done. im getting chills just thinking
about it. my dad was surprised that i drove. i wnated to learn with my uncle
tom
by my side. he showed me a few pointers that were helpful. when i get
back here he wont be around as often. his kids are
on summer break now, but
go back just like in america. dont know what else to say except "see most of
you soon" before
i skip out though i want to say thank god sherwin is okay.
foolios car flipped over but hes okay...im gonna start calling
you super
dave! take care of yourselves andill let you know whats what as soon as i
can.
wahab""algarmi
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