Over the last few days, many of you have reached out with well wishes for my father and I want to thank you for that. In addition, I heard a range of patient outcomes in fighting Prostate Cancer and I can't say express how important this is to me. If you have a story about a family member or friend that had this disease, please do let me know about it.

 

As for my dad, we are still awaiting further test results that should be in next week. 

 

I viewed an apartment today just a few blocks away from where I was staying this summer. It's a 1 bedroom space with a view of Manhattan from the back window. When I got there the space was being shown to 2 girls who seemed to be fresh off the first plane in town and still had that gleem in there eye of being in New York.

 

They were discussing the possibilities of making this small space work for 2 people. I felt so much compassion for them that, my excitement about the place slowly discipated. They were both living in temporary sublets as I was and they are desperately seeking a place.

 

To me, there is just something wrong about 3 homeless people trying to duel over a place to live. It's just not right. I know that this is the reality of the situation especially in New York, where it can be ruthless, but its not me. I would get more joy out of seeing them get this space, then to feel good about beating them out for it. Call me crazy, but that's me.

 

I woke up this morning wondering if I'm still on my path. The answer to this question involved a thorough examination of my motives, decisions, recent events and imagination. At long least I have my answers.

 

When I first left California, my plan was to spend the spring and summer in New York. Although the transition in my mind was foggy, I wanted to venture off to other countries after living in the last place in America that appealled to me. As you know, sometimes paths aren't so clear.

 

Once here, I had the time of my life! It felt so good to be on course and into the world of the unknown. I met some great people that helped me in tough times and made the first few months of my trip spectacular. I was having such a good time that I started pondering and pursueing the possibilities of maybe staying longer.

 

The fact that I was able to get closer to my friends who visited me was an amazing thing. I really can't explain why this happened at such an intense rate, I'll just contribute it to the energy of New York. Most of the time, these friends built a bridge from my world to Shelly's changing our relationship from just roommates into life long friends.

 

Financially, my situation never improved, but a way to survive was always provided for me. I wouldn't advise anyone to go to credit card use unless it was in extreme situations. In that case you do what you have to do. One friend saw  these struggles and tried to help me out with job leads and interviews. I was grateful for this, but after a certain point the help went overboard and I stopped responding to it. This none response would later be the catalist to the abusive emails that I recieved the day before I moved out.

 

Looking back on it, I would probably be in Montreal had this not happened. But because it did happen, the main reason I stayed is because deep down I felt that I had to prove to this person that I wasn't 'a failure' and that I could get my own place and job without help. I don't know why I just admitted this to myself today, but that was my motivation. That's never a good reason to do anything.

 

All of the energy I was channelling into proving myself, was coming from a place of sadness and anger. Negative forces.

 

With the news of my father's cancer, I was forced to snap out of my bizarro world and be honest with myself about my actions and what I need to do to get back on my path.

 

It's time to say goodbye to New York. I'm going home to be with my family. I fully expect my dad to beat this as he has many opsticals in his life.

 

Depending on my Dad's progress, I will spend the next 2 years devoted to  international travel as planned. I'll be in Jamaica for Karim's wedding in January, followed by 10 days in Mexico with Terra, then off to France in March/April of 2005 for at least 3 months and begin a year of teaching English in Japan with starting July of 2005. 

 

I'll be leaving New Jersey either on Monday or Tuesday depending on how soon I can ship my stuff.

 

I visited my favorite hangout Royale one last time tonight. This was the first time that I've gone there in about 2 months and I sat and reflected on how much fun I had here.

 

It's never easy to leave. Never easy to say goodbye. What makes it a little easier is taking the good memories with you as you go.

 

It's been quite a ride in part 1 of a 3-year journey. I'm extremly glad that I was able to share this experience with you. So let's take a trip down memory lane and relive some of my more favorite moments.

 

My favorite moment on the road was visiting Travis' frat house and being so happy with how he's progressing. I can also remember the excitement I felt as I got closer to New York. It was hard to believe that what I've wanted for so long was actually going to happen. Making that first turn on 80 and seeing the skyline of Manhattan was magical.

 

My favorite party was the High Times magazine gathering where for the first time I met Lauren, David, Shelly and Jerry. This meeting would led to a place to stay, working with an amazing artist and living with a great roommate. All of these relationships would played a prominent role in my time here and I'm thankful.

 

My favorite Nightclub was Elevator.

 

My favorite local bar Royale.

 

My favorite play was hard bop life.

 

My favorite concert was Ron Carter @ Blue Note.

 

The Best Emcee Immortal Technique.

 

My favorite hot dog joint Grays Papaya.

 

My favorite pizza spot- never found a favorite.

 

My favorite museum The Met.

 

Among the mini road trips I had, these are a few of my favorite memories. During my first trip to Boston, witnessing the first state sanctioned Gay marriages. Taking a trip with Terra to where she grew up and running across that Crazy Duck. Going to Philly for the B-Boy BBQ. A trip upstate with Wahab discovering more about there area his friend lived and died in a few years ago.

 

My favorite visitor was....all of you! Even those of you who didn't make it, but took the time to visit the website.

 

My favorite corresondent is Wahab. The guy went to another country and married a girl he never met. My hero.

 

Gosh so many memories. Of course I left out a few, but take a trip back through the pages and you just might find them.

 

All systems are go for departure. I shipped most of my bulky items through Amtrak. So all that's left to do is to say goodbye.

 

Instead of taking 80 west the entire way, I'm taking the soutern route due to weather concerns and to visit some old friends along the way.

 

As for the fate of this website, I'll keep updating along the road. I'm not sure what the format will be once I get back, but I would like to keep everyone updated on my dad's recovery. I will no doubt have a new site when all of the international travel begins.

 

So long New York.

 

I left New York today and drove down to Philly. I'm staying with Karim tonight and depending on how I feel tomorrow I'll be in Atlanta. I got up extremly early to pack and grab the rest of my junk out of storage.

 

Thoughts while driving....sadness and refletion. Also, it was a very cold a wet day so I kinda felt glad to be missing the gray season.

 

Got a philly cheese steak today! Lovely.

 

Anybody catch the Boston vs. Yankee game? Amazing. Love the symbolism.